Sweet Regret
by Andie O'Neill
Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when John and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Weir must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret.
1. Chapter 1

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor)**

**A/N: Again, sparky fic! Rather Angsty sparky fic, but sparky none-the-less. Most of the angst is later in the story. I wanted to wait before I actually wrote this one, but it was too hard to stop myself from sending it off to you guys:D Enjoy!**

Chapter One

Worry… it was beginning to become the feeling she hated most, especially on days like this… when all she could do was wait, and hope beyond hope that everything would be okay in the end… as it always had been. She felt helpless as she stared at the Stargate, waiting for news. When Rodney McKay and Ronan Dex had run through the gate, fear and worry in their eyes, she'd known something was terribly wrong. Something always was when it came to Sheppard and his team. They'd all quickly sprung into action, hoping to reach Sheppard and Teyla before they lost the two forever. They'd been shot at, stabbed, fed upon, tortured, drugged, and used in the few years they'd gone through the gate… slavery was a new one.

It was true that the other teams got into almost just as much trouble, but none like Colonel John Sheppard and his team. She was getting tired of hearing the same old story. They were kidnapped, running for their life, trying to save Atlantis; trying to save one of their own… the list goes on and on. She was getting damn sick of it. She was sick of waiting, of hoping… of worrying. She just wanted to be free of that, but she knew as long as she had the job she did, that would never stop. Unfortunately, quitting was not an option. Atlantis and all those in the city needed her just as she needed them. She could never abandon them, no matter how tempting it was to go back to her old life. She'd lost so much when she'd chosen to lead the Atlantis expedition. She'd lost Simon for one, barely ever saw her mother… or her older brother for that matter (not that that was different considering how hard he tried to avoid home on his archeological adventures.)

God she hated this. She needed to know what was going on! She needed to know, whether it was good news or bad. Even if it was just to say she'd never see Sheppard's face again… she needed something! She couldn't take this anymore… how could they expect her to just sit and wait when two of her people could possibly be gone. Just as Elizabeth was about to give the order to send the next team to see what was going on the Stargate activated, each symbol systematically coming to life as the off-world activator finished dialing. Elizabeth looked over at one of the technicians. "Raise the shield."

"No need, its Doctor McKay's identification code."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, praying that Sheppard and Teyla would be with them. Just as she opened her eyes, hers connected with an injured Doctor Rodney McKay. He was limping through the gate looking beyond exhausted. She didn't like what she saw as he looked back at her… pity, anger, pain… it was in his eyes. Next came Ronan as well as the Marines she'd sent with him except three. As she walked down the steps the gate shut off and she knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. "He's gone," Ronan whispered, looking down. "They both are."

Elizabeth felt her heart speed up; her whole body froze for a second as she tried to digest what she'd just heard. "Gone how?" she asked, knowing her voice sounded desperate.

Realizing Ronan couldn't say anymore, Rodney began to explain. "When Sheppard and Teyla were captured we thought we might get some help from a friend in the village we seemed to get along well enough with. Apparently slaves are of more value than anything else. We didn't make it in time. They were taken to a world without a Stargate and when we tried to find out where we were almost killed in the process. Their forces are a lot better than we'd expected… better than even the Genii. There was no way to get the information unless we hacked into their main computer… frankly, you're lucky we made it back at all. They detected us just as soon as we were in… Dawson, Peters, and Levermore were killed when we tried to get out… we were lucky."

Elizabeth looked away, trying to keep her emotions in check. They might have been lucky, but what about Teyla? What about John?

"I'm so sorry Elizabeth… we did everything we could. I wish that had been enough," he told her sincerely.

"Its okay, Rodney… I know you tried as hard as you could."

"There has to be more we can do! We give them everything we've got! Something to get what we need to save Sheppard and Teyla!" Ronan voiced.

"I don't see that doing much good Ronan! What do you want us to do? Send a bomb through? Nerve gas? There are innocent people there! Just because their government decided they needed more slaves doesn't mean that has anything to do with the others."

"Their society revolves around slavery! I wouldn't call them innocent!"

"Hey! Both of you! Stop it! Fighting with each other is not going to get us anywhere! We'll do what we can using what resources we have to find any planets that may not have a Stargate and see what we find."

"That could take weeks! Months even!" Ronan fought.

"Its all we have. I will not outright attack their planet when there could be innocent people being murdered in the meantime. You and I both know Teyla and John wouldn't want that," Elizabeth told him, trying to be strong when all she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and never leave. "I need to contact Earth and let them know what's happened."

Ronan stared back at Elizabeth, still upset before storming off. McKay sighed, glancing over at Elizabeth. "I'm sure their both fine… we'll see them again soon enough."

"Yeah… I know," Elizabeth said, knowing it was a lie. She didn't know, and that was what scared her most. John and Teyla were gone, and she had no idea how they'd find them again… if they ever did. As Elizabeth felt the tears begin to overwhelm her, she walked briskly away from the control room and into the transporter. Her back slammed into the wall as she slid to the floor, closing her eyes tight even as the tears seeped through the cracks. So much had been left hanging when Sheppard had left for his mission, so much to figure out. She hadn't been ready before when her feelings for him had been confronted in the most intimate way, she hadn't been ready to deal with it, and now she would possibly never get the chance to tell him. "Dammit," she swore as memories of their time together passed through her mind.

She could see their many times on the balcony… laughing and sharing, so at peace as they watched the sun set, or gazed up at sparkling stars. She could still remember the looks they'd share when they both knew it might be the last time they saw each other. She remembered allowing him to leave on his suicide mission, only to see him once again. She hadn't been able to control herself as she'd hugged him for all he was worth. She supposed she hadn't actually believed he was alive until she felt him hold her. He remembered the nights they'd sat together and talked about they're day. She'd always felt comfortable around him. Finally the memories flew forward to one of the last moments she'd spent with him.

She could still feel his hands running down her back, stroking her face… holding her close. She still remembered the feeling of finally being with him, knowing him the way other women had, or perhaps not. It had been different with him, she knew that much. Simon had never felt like that. No one had, and she'd known he'd felt the same. She'd seen it in his eyes… surprise, passion, and what had almost looked like love. Unfortunately she'd done what she always did. She'd kept him at a distance, picked her work over everything else… including her happiness. She'd done it with Simon, and now with John.

Elizabeth knocked the back of her head against the wall, trying to rid herself of the images… the thoughts of him. She couldn't do this to herself. She had to move on. She would see him again… he was still alive. He had to be. She had to believe one day they'd be able to see each other once again. She WOULD see Teyla and John again. Elizabeth wiped the tears from her eyes and with determination left the transporter and walked across her office until finally reaching the balcony, her hand on her stomach as she looked out at the darkened sky. Ironic considering how it mimicked her mood. Slowly she removed her jacket and looked over at the mark on her pale skin, right on her forearm. She'd known a bruise would develop the moment she'd slammed her arm into the wall that night…. Finally she closed her eyes, letting the wind flow around her and tried to remember, hoping that this day would be like all the others. Some day soon she'd see him walk through the gate, a soft but weak smile on his face as he looked at her… he'd be home soon. She had to believe that. Elizabeth opened her eyes as the last words John spoke to her entered her mind.

"_Push me away all you want, Elizabeth, but one day you're gonna turn around and I won't be there waiting for you. It just doesn't work that way," he'd told her before almost storming out, leaving her alone in her room, silent tears falling down her face._

She never should have let him go. Elizabeth shook her head, pulling her jacket back on as the cold seeped into her very soul. Regret made worry look almost peaceful….

**_Around Six Years Later_**

"… I was able to translate some of the ruins, but there's still quite a bit to look at. It could take days," McKay explained, his usual jolly self when it came to anything even remotely connected to the Ancients.

"The locals seemed okay with us checking them out, but they didn't look too excited about it either. Their leader Lartis Sorne seems like a good enough guy. He was willing to let us study it for as long as we liked, but he'd rather us not bring weapons. There also seems to be a festival coming up that involves three nearby planets. It's in honor of the ruins. He told us we were welcome, but we won't be able to do any in depth study on that day considering the decorations and everything. Either way I'd say it's a win, win situation," Lorne added.

"It could prove well to start an alliance with them, Elizabeth. Their far more advanced than even the Genii. Although they hide most of their numbers through underground compartments much as the Genii do their understanding of Wraith technology and accomplishments in space travel make them a valuable ally. Although they are afflicted by the Wraith, they do wish to destroy them just as we do," Doctor William Parker told her. Will, along with Lorne had been chosen to join Sheppard's old team after his and Teyla's kidnapping. They'd become a fine addition since the day they'd been added, even being able to preserve their reputation of getting into trouble more than any other team. Will seemed especially good at it.

"It would be nice to learn a little more about their culture… maybe attending this festival will help things along. Plus… you know, I think one of the archeologists, Doctor Yars has a bit of a crush on me… so I'm all for it." Same old Rodney….

"I don't trust them."

"You don't trust anyone," Rodney replied, making both Will and Elizabeth smile.

"Is there any particular reason for you're distrust, Ronan?" Will asked seriously. Elizabeth couldn't help but notice the bond between Ronan and Will, something she'd only seen since John had been in command. Elizabeth had been relieved when she'd first seen it. Although Will was a Doctor, he'd been in the military for years to earn his way through college, and that training had kicked in quite a bit, earning Ronan's respect from the start. He'd been a good addition, with Lorne at the helm, now a Colonel thanks to some convincing on his behalf. Elizabeth was good at getting what she wanted.

"I just feel it… something isn't right about them."

"Oh, well in that case…" Rodney muttered.

"Shut up, Rodney," said Will, rolling his eyes. "Wouldn't want to get the killing machine angry now would we?"

Ronan smiled at that.

"Colonel Lorne, I want you're team attending that festival… if anything seems out of place, anything at all, you know what to do. In the meantime lets see whether their ally material or not. You leave in two days at 0800hrs."

"Yes Ma'am."

The others nodded their agreement before standing along with Elizabeth. "Dismissed."

Rodney, Ronan, and Lorne quickly left, leaving Will Parker and Elizabeth in the conference room alone. "If Ronan's right we'll have to be extra careful… and you know how right he usually is about these things."

"Yes well, as I recall you've been right about quite a bit yourself… so I'd say it's a toss-up," Elizabeth replied with a smile.

The fellow Doctor just smiled back. "That's because I usually agree with Ronan," he told her before giving her a wink and walking away. "Your place or mine this time?"

"Yours, you cook better," she answered without hesitation.

"Tell Emily to wear something nice," he shouted back before leaving the room with a wave. "See you then!"

Elizabeth almost laughed, shaking her head before she grabbed her laptop and headed back to her office to finish all the wonderful paper work ahead of her. It had been a long time since Sheppard had been taken that Elizabeth could find her self laughing… or even smiling again, but she supposed it was true that time truly did heal wounds… even if there were still scares left behind. Then again… scares were a lot better to deal with in compression to open wounds. She'd learned to accept she might never see John again, that he may not even be alive by now. It had been hard to move on, and for a time she'd closed herself off from anyone she knew would want to help support her. She hadn't felt she deserved it after how things had been left between her and John. Then one little surprise had come her way to change everything…. "Mommy?"

"Sorry Elizabeth, when I saw everyone leaving I figured the meeting had ended… she really wanted to see you," Carson explained.

"It's fine Carson." Elizabeth got up from her desk and picked up the green eyed child before her. "Hey jelly bean! Did you have fun playing nurse with Carson?"

"Yeah! Major Rogers even let me listen to his heart!" she told Elizabeth excitedly.

"That's great sweet heart! Now why don't you and I go get a snack? I could use a little break!"

"Yes! I want cake!" she immediately told the Doctor, as she was eased back to the ground.

"How about you, Carson? You in?"

"Perhaps another time. I should really be getting' back to the infirmary. I'll see you later Emily dearest!"

"By Carson!" Emily said, giving the Scottish Doctor a hug.

"See you later, Carson," Elizabeth said with a wave as she took her daughter's hand and walked out of the office. It had been difficult to get the President as well as many others to agree to her staying on Atlantis as their leader despite Emily, but thankfully she'd had friends to back her up… all of Atlantis on one hand, as well as General O'Neill and Woolsey back home… not to mention the added support from Colonel Caldwell. It had been a long fight, but a truly worthwhile one. Elizabeth couldn't think of a better place to raise the daughter she'd never planned on having… especially with all those willing to help her raise the little one. Not to mention the village settled on the mainland that'd all been happy to help. It took 'a whole village to raise a child' to a whole other level. "So… chocolate cake, my dear? And what would you like to do after that?"

Emily paused, thinking hard before her eyes light up. "Golf!" she answered, looking entirely too adorable. She already had everyone she met wrapped around her little finger… and that included Kavanagh!

"You spend WAY too much time with Rodney McKay, child," Elizabeth muttered, shaking her head.

The tomboy just frowned, sighing. "Football?"

Elizabeth stopped in the middle of the hallway, her eyes looking down suspiciously at the little girl beside her. "Rodney McKay… Will Parker… I'll have to put them on my list of bad association. You really need to spend more time with women… like Laura Cadmen for example…" Elizabeth told her before once again heading toward the Mess.

"Hey! She likes football too!"

Elizabeth sighed. She was just like her father….

_To Be Continued…._

A/N: Hmmm I wonder who Emily's father could be? What a mystery:insert sarcasm here: lol :D Review if you want more!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Again, sparky fic! Rather Angsty sparky fic, but sparky none-the-less. Most of the angst is later in the story. I wanted to wait before I actually wrote this one, but it was too hard to stop myself from sending it off to you guys:D Enjoy!**

Chapter Two

"Will!" Emily ran quickly to him, jumping into his arms.

"Jelly bean! What's up little one?" he asked, hugging her before setting her on the floor.

"It was okay, like my dress?"

"Of course! You look like an angel in white… you know that don't you?" he asked, kneeling down. "Now… guess what I've got for you…."

"What!"

Will moved both his fists before her, allowing her to choose. When she tapped on his right hand he opened his palm to show a small golden key.

"A key? What am I gonna do with that?" she asked confused.

"Oh, I figured you could use it when you open the new toy chest I made you," he explained, watching her face light up.

Emily immediately hugged him.

"It's in the study, go check it out," he told her, chuckling as she launched away toward her present.

"Will, I told you that you didn't have to do that," Elizabeth reminded her.

"Elizabeth, you and I both know she could use one, besides… wood shop always was my thing. It only took a couple of months."

"A couple of months! Will, I know you truly love Emily, but do you have to spoil her so much?"

"Yup," he told her, standing up before he walked toward her and wrapped his arms around her waste. "It's actually a law… 'Thou must spoil beautiful children named Emily.' I don't know about you, but I like to follow the rules," he teased.

Elizabeth just rolled her eyes, watching as Will leaned in. She knew he was about to kiss her. They'd only been dating for a week so far, but she'd known him for more than six years. She'd noticed his attraction to her the moment they'd met, but as he'd gotten to know her he hadn't bothered to ask her out, knowing all about her issues with John Sheppard, and her devotion to Emily. She'd never really allowed herself to feel something back until he'd finally asked her to go to dinner with him not but seven days earlier as they'd stood on the balcony. He was smart, handsome, and not to mention kind. Emily loved him. Her friends trusted him. She relied on him. In the end she'd known her answer would be 'yes.' Emily deserved a father, and though Elizabeth tried to hold onto the hope that one day they'd find Sheppard, she knew the chances were slim. It was time to move on and try for the family Emily deserved… she deserved.

Will's lips connected with her own, a soft caress before he pulled back only a small bit, their breath intermingling. Elizabeth opened her eyes to connect with his before taking her hand and pulling him to her, kissing him more deeply.

"Mom! You gotta check out what Will made me!" came a shout from her father from the other room.

Will and Elizabeth immediately parted before Will took her hand and gave her a small rather sexy looking smirk. "Come on, you're daughter's calling," he whispered before pulling her along.

Elizabeth smiled back, once again rolling her eyes. He might be slightly immature sometimes, not to mention he joked around far too much, but there were times when she could almost see a future with him. She knew he loved Emily, and that he wasn't just pretending. He was a good man, and Elizabeth knew it was time to move on. She had to let go of the past. Chances were John Sheppard was dead… she couldn't throw her life away waiting for him, especially when someone who truly cared about her stood right before her.

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John groaned turning over to see Teyla sleeping soundly for once beside him. He supposed the fact that they were visiting the city and therefore weren't working in the fields had something to do with her ability to sleep… not cuts and bruises to avoid sleeping on. The yearly festival was the only time they had to simply relax, their chores minimal and barely worth mentioning. He'd gotten used to the pain though. Life as a slave was one of the hardest things he'd ever been through, but he would never give up. One day he was sure he'd be able to make it home. One day. The city provided that chance, he just needed to find the right moment, and come up with the right plan. They'd tried to escape more times than he could remember, but each had ended with failure as well as whippings and beatings that would make even the toughest scream for death. He was used to that too though.

Sheppard watched the woman beside him asleep. Teyla was probably the one person he had at the moment that he could depend upon. She'd learned quickly what to say and what not too. Although her spirit was strong, she was wise enough to know she wouldn't get anywhere resisting those controlling them. It had taken him a while to learn, and he had tons of scars to prove it, but she'd taught him enough to survive. He'd actually learned a lot thanks to Teyla, especially when it came to showing respect to those who didn't deserve it. If not for her he'd never have lasted as long as he had. Their 'owner' Sorne Velaske had only had the two for less than four years. Before that it had been Tallin Hesting.

When he and his team had arrived to another planet six years ago, they'd never realized how deep the culture was into slavery. The government's plan all along had been to take them all and sell them off for as much money as possible. Thankfully McKay and Ronan had gotten away, but he and Teyla never made it to the gate. Instead they'd found themselves waking up on a ship filled with slaves heading towards a planet not carrying a gate. Thankfully he and Teyla had been able to stick together, and over the years they'd become even closer than before. With all that she'd done to protect him, he'd made it his duty to protect her as well, doing his best to take the blame if something she did went wrong. He wouldn't let anyone beat her, not if he could do something about it. She didn't really like him playing the 'hero' and taking her punishments, but she'd learned to accept that it was just his way. She'd known him long enough to see how stubborn he could be.

"John?"

John smiled down at her. "Teyla… you okay?"

"Can't sleep again?"

John just looked away. She'd learned since the day he'd been sold into slavery that his heart would always be in Atlantis, as hers would always be with her people. On certain nights he still had trouble sleeping, thinking of the life he'd left behind, and might never see again. "Teyla, I think this could be it. We could finally get out of this place!"

"John, you should understand we may never see Atlantis again… we don't even have a way to get them to lower the shield."

"Maybe, but I still remember quite a few safe planets we can go to… some who might be able to get into contact with Atlantis. Either way, anywhere is better than here!"

"And if we never get home?" she asked softly.

Sheppard frowned, resting his head against hers. "Then we live out our lives somewhere else together. Home or not, I can't stay here, and neither can you."

"And what of the others?"

"Teyla, we may never be able to save the others… but we can save ourselves. You're my priority."

"I know… I just wish there was more we could do for the other slaves. They don't deserve to live their lives in misery… they've never even known what its like to be free."

"If we get back to Atlantis… we'll do all we can to help the others… I promise."

Teyla just nodded, closing her eyes, her forehead still against his. It had been two years since they'd come together. At first all John had been able to think about was what he'd left behind. Although his connection to Teyla had been intensifying during the years, his heart had still belonged to Elizabeth, especially after their night together, even if she'd pushed him away the morning of his mission. Elizabeth had been his best friend, the person he leaned on, the person he trusted beyond all others. She'd become everything to him. Although he'd always been close to Teyla, because of her being under his command he'd tried to create certain boundaries between them. Those boundaries had slowly crumbled in the years he'd been slaves together. All he had was Teyla, and all she had was him. For awhile it had seemed her interest lied with Ronan, but he was gone… back on Atlantis. Teyla and John only had each other in this world of pain and suffering. Finding something better in that kind of a world was the thing that kept them going, along with their hope to finally make it home. Finally Teyla moved back down, closing her eyes. "Sleep John… I don't need you passing out from exhaustion and making Sorne angry."

John just smiled and lay back beside her. "Good night Teyla."

"Good night John."

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"Good night sweet heart," she whispered as she watched her child yawn, lying in her bed already tucked in.

"Good night Mommy."

Elizabeth was about to get up when she kneeled back down, frowning. "Honey?"

"Yeah Mom?"

"What do you think of Will… do you think he'd make a good father?" Weir knew her child well, and one thing she'd always understood about her daughter was just how intelligent she could be. It may have taken a while for her to accept, but she'd learned to trust her child to get things that many children never understood at five.

Emily frowned, thinking hard before smiling. "Yeah… he's nice."

Elizabeth smiled, kissing her daughter's forehead.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"He loves you doesn't he."

"And what would make you think that?"

"His eyes smile when he looks at you... kinda like how Major York looks at Doctor Riker," she explained. York and Riker had been married nearly a year now. They were just a few of the people who would help watch Emily when they were needed.

Elizabeth looked away, shaking her head. "Go to sleep kiddo… you have to wake up early tomorrow."

Emily just nodded, closing her eyes. Elizabeth finally stood up after staring at her daughter for a second, folding her arms before turning and walking out of the room and over to her own. Will couldn't possibly love her… could he? They'd only been on a few dates! She knew he'd cared for her much longer than a week… but love? That was a hard one to swallow. Maybe Emily was just seeing things… yeah, that was it. She was seeing things…. 'Sure,' her mind told her. 'And if you believe that you're more of an idiot than you realize….'

_LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL_

Will groaned, hearing the insistent knock at his door. "Alright! Alright! I'm coming!" he shouted, pulling away from his comfortable warm bed to answer the door. "Someone better be dead!" Finally he moved to face the door, waving his head over the scanner so the door would open. "Elizabeth?"

She was biting her lip in that cute way… god he loved it when she did that. It meant she was nervous usually. "I uh… I didn't wake you up did I? I know it's kinda late."

"Uh no… it's fine. I thought you were putting the munchkin to bed, what's up?"

"Oh uh, Emily's sleeping. I can only talk for a second… I just wanted to thank you for dinner tonight."

Will raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm pretty sure you already did…."

Suddenly Elizabeth slammed her lips against his, kissing him for all he was worth, and shocking the hell out of him at the same time. Finally after what seemed like hours she took a step back. "Thanks," she almost whispered.

"Uh… wow," was all he could say, his brain too foggy from the kiss to actually think just yet. If there was one thing he was pretty sure of now was the woman could kiss… really, really, really, really kiss.

Elizabeth laughed at that, knowing he was dumbfounded. "I know it wasn't much of a date with Emily right there… sorry about that. It's just I don't want to put too much on everyone every time I want some free time and I just-"

"Elizabeth… it's okay! I did say to bring her. This was for the both of you. Besides… you know I don't mind Emily. I mean, I _was_ raised with four younger siblings, one who wasn't even born until I was sixteen. And considering the fact that my mother died a year later and my father had to work full time… I can safely say I practically raised all four. I know how tough it is being a single parent. Just know… you're not alone with her. I'm here in a snap anytime you need me…" he told her. "Unless of course I'm off world or dead," he then added with a smile.

Elizabeth shook her head, laughing once more. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he told her, kissing her nose. "Now… you better get back. Wouldn't want the kid to wake up suddenly and not find you there… who knows what trouble she'd get in…."

"Good night Will," she said, trying not to laugh.

"Sweet dreams Elizabeth."

Elizabeth turned around slowly and walked back to her room, smiling even brighter after her talk with Will. Oh yeah… she could definitely see a future with Will.

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"John, I'm just not sure this is a good idea with what our jobs demand! What if our relationship and my attachment to you clouded my judgment! Atlantis is too important for us to potentially make those kinds of mistakes!"

"Elizabeth, you and I both know Atlantis is important, but that doesn't mean we should throw something away just for something that MIGHT happen! We're better than that Elizabeth! I know we can make it work!"

"John, I just can't take that risk. I'm not asking for you to throw anything away… I just think we should wait until the time is right!" she fought, her robe still held tight around her despite the fact that he'd seen what lay behind it.

"And when exactly with that be? A year? Ten years?"

"I don't know! A time when our enemies can't potentially use our relationship against us!"

"Elizabeth, we may always have to deal with enemies! Even if we find a way to destroy the Wraith, which by the way the ANCIENTS couldn't do, what makes you think there won't be others. What makes you think the Ori won't go to THIS galaxy next? Or that the replicators will be defeated like the others?"

"I'm just asking for some TIME, John! To figure things out! To figure US out! I'm not sure I'm ready for this now!"

John rolled his eyes, walking backwards, pulling his shirt over his head and down, while grabbing the rest of his things. "Fine! You want time? I'll give you time! Have as much as you need. I'm done." Finally he was standing at the door. "Push me away all you want, Elizabeth, but one day you're gonna turn around and I won't be there waiting for you. It just doesn't work that way," he said before almost storming out, not even bothering to notice the tears falling down her face as she watched him go.

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Elizabeth sat up quickly in bed, breathing a little harder than before as the intense memories came flooding to the surface. Damn! She didn't need this now! Slowly, she got out of bed and walked into her bathroom, splashing cold water on her face, trying to push back the memories of their last fight before he disappeared. Finally she could feel her breathing go back to normal and she walked out of the bathroom, but rather than going to her bed she walked over to Emily's room, seeing that she was still fast asleep. Elizabeth had never been able to really admit to anyone but Carson that John Sheppard was the father. She was sure others had figured it out by how similar the two looked, but she'd never been able to say it, not even to Will… not even to Emily. She'd asked more than once, but it was hard.

She knew Emily should know about her father… how smart he was, how kind he'd been, how he'd always made her laugh, how he'd always been willing to do anything for his family. Her daughter should know that her father died a hero. She knew all about John Sheppard, but she knew nothing of his connection to her… she knew nothing of her father.

Elizabeth walked away from the room and back to her own bed, pushing down the memories of her past. Silently she promised to tell Emily everything she wanted to know about her father… one day soon. She should know the truth. So should Will. She was pretty sure he already knew… there were rumors after all, but he should hear it from her. She was now beginning to realize she'd never truly be rid of John Sheppard… not when every day she saw his eyes, not just in dreams, but in her daughter. She could let go of the past all she wanted, but she'd never be able to let go of John. It was a curse she'd just have to live with, even if more than anything she just wanted to forget.

To Be Continued….

A/N: I know this had a lot of romance between Elizabeth and Will and John and Teyla, but I wanted to establish relationships before I got to the meat of things. Besides, I do have to set the story up before things get interesting:D Please review! Pretty please with a cherry on top?


	3. Chapter 3

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but hopefully the next chapter will be longer. This one gets a bit angsty near the beginning… there are small details of torture, but nothing too graphic. Please review!**

Chapter Three

The two days had gone by fast, filled with the usual business Atlantis demanded from almost everyone. Elizabeth had been up to her knees in paperwork, barely squeezing in any quality time with Emily, let alone Will. The day of the festival was today and Lorne's team was almost ready to leave once more. Elizabeth smiled when she saw Colonel Lorne walk into her office. "We're ready Doctor Weir," he informed her.

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll be there in a second, thank you Colonel."

Lorne just smiled before walking away. Elizabeth put her papers down and headed out of her office and walked down the steps to the gateroom. Will smiled, dressed and ready to go. "Wish us luck!"

"It's just a festival Will! It's not like we're battling the Wraith today or something," Rodney said annoyed.

Will rolled his eyes, walking over to Elizabeth. "Scratch that… wish McKay luck, cause if I have to be stuck with him this entire festival blood will be spilled," he whispered to her, making her laugh.

"I'm amazed he's lasted this long," she whispered back.

"Hey love birds, can we save the hugs and kisses till after we get back!" Rodney asked.

Will glared at him before looking over at Ronan. "Ronan… would you mind handing me your gun? Mine just wouldn't be as fun."

Ronan smirked at his friend. "Wouldn't want to mess up the gateroom… wait till we get to the other side."

McKay folded his arms. "Very funny guys! Cut it out!"

"Who said we were kidding? Were you just kidding Ronan?"

"Nope, you?"

"Nope."

Will and Dex smiled wickedly at McKay, making him frown before he moved to stand over with Lorne. "Oh hell no! Don't look at me for protection! I'd be more inclined to help them!"

"Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth just shared a look with Will. "Sorry Rodney, but this love bird doesn't have the time," she remarked.

McKay sighed, a defeated look on his face. "I miss Sheppard," he muttered.

Elizabeth smiled before looking at her team. "Have fun guys. Dial the gate!" Just as soon as she spoke the words the gate began to dial and a wormhole was established. McKay and Lorne went first, followed by Ronan. Will walked up to the even horizon and looked back at her, saluting before walking through. Elizabeth shook her head. "Safe trip…" she whispered to herself before turning around and walking up the steps.

_LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL_

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Sheppard screamed as the whip struck his back, his teeth grinding from the pain. The whip ripped through his skin once more, forcing another scream from his lips until finally it stopped, leaving him panting.

One of the workers, a higher up slave walked over in front of him. His eyes were soft with pity as he undid the cuffs holding John up and caught him before he could collapse on the floor. "God… forgive me, my friend," he whispered.

"Always do," John spoke weakly.

Vallen moved one of Sheppard's arms around him and held up his weight, guiding him back to his room. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you liked getting whippings."

Too weak to shrug, John just grunted, being led to the cot. He moaned in pain, trying to keep his back from the wall. Noticing this, Vallen quickly laid him down on his side. "Maybe I do… where is Teyla?"

"The Master called for her. She will not be returning here until morning. I volunteered to care for you in her absence."

"Damn… I'm gonna kill that bastard."

Vallen simply rolled his eyes, sitting beside him on the floor. "You John Sheppard are truly a man of mystery. I don't know whether to consider you stupid or just… nope… looks like I'm just going to have to stick with stupid."

"It would've worked…."

"At least this is the last day the Master forces me to harm you. Soon you will be allowed to go into the market to buy wine for the festival today. That is… if you are well enough. I am to accompany you."

"Smart man… separating Teyla from me. He knows I'll try to escape again."

"You always do. Why you think you are quicker than the chip is beyond me."

"I refuse to live my life out as a damn slave… even if it kills me."

"You would do anything to get home… wouldn't you." It wasn't a question. Vallen stared at John, a confused look on his face.

"Yes I would. Atlantis is my home… the only real home I've ever known," he admitted.

"It must be a truly amazing place for you to risk so much simply to return there."

John frowned, sitting up a bit while leaning on his left arm. "You were born into slavery Vallen… I wasn't. I was free once. I got to choose the life I wanted. It may be easy for you to serve, to follow the rules, but I've never been that kind of a person. I don't follow the rules. I never did."

Vallen shook his head. "It's hard to imagine. I've been a slave all my life."

John could see the wonder on his friend's face. Although the day they'd met he'd been ordered to whip John, it hadn't taken long for the two to become friends. Sheppard had understood that disobedience to Vallen was death. John knew it was hard on Vallen… he'd been aware for a while that his friend barely slept, barely ate, taking most of his food to share with John and Teyla. He was a good man, but he was also a man led by fear. "Maybe one day you'll be able to see Atlantis for yourself."

Vallen shook his head. "Freedom is your dream, my friend, not mine. I don't dare dream for freedom," he whispered, putting a hand on Sheppard's shoulder softly before lying back on the floor.

John just smiled, lying back on his side to rest for at least an hour. His back burned, but this wasn't the first time he'd been whipped. He'd gotten used to enduring the pain.

_LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL_

"Hey Rodney, care for a traditional dessert?"

"Food?" McKay's ears seemed to perk up at the statement, a hopeful smile on his face as he looked over at Doctor Parker. They'd been walking for a couple of hours so far and Will knew how much a fully stomach meant to the annoying, yet amusing astrophysicist.

"Yes, I do believe dessert is considered food…" Will teased. "Want something?"

When Rodney saw the strange dessert he immediately frowned. "That has citrus in it!"

Will looked closer, trying to hide his smile. "Really? Citrus you say? I had no idea! And to think, if you'd gotten some you'd have to be shipped back to Atlantis before your throat closed up and you couldn't breathe…."

McKay folded his arms. "Sheppard never would have done that," he mumbled.

"Colonel John Sheppard carried a lemon in his pocket everywhere he went!" Lorne reminded him, pushing him along.

"Yeah, but he never would have used it! He just did that to bug me!"

"You coming Will?"

"No, I think I'll try the local food. It looks good. I'll catch up with you at the ruins just as soon as I'm finished."

"Have fun!" Ronan shouted from afar, pushing McKay along as he complained.

Will smiled, almost laughing as they left.

Sheppard stared at the stand, hungry and tired while the others took their fill. Maybe he could just grab one… he'd been working on his tactics for a while. They were good at catching criminals, but he and Teyla had to eat… and he had a feeling thanks to their millionth failed escape, their 'Master' wouldn't be sharing any moldy bread with them today even if it was a special occasion. He didn't much like the idea of begging Vallen for scraps, even if the poor guy would have jumped to help considering what he'd had to do to John. Slowly he sneaked forward, going around until he was close by, ignoring whoever it was talking a mile a minute about how interesting the texture of the dessert was. His hand crept even further, drawing closer and closer to its goal when another hand grabbed his wrist. "You planning on paying for that?" he asked.

Sheppard's head snapped up as he tried to break free, but the man was too strong. He pulled John up to his feet, holding to his wrist so tight his hand was beginning to turn red. Suddenly he got a good look at the man who'd been speaking earlier and gasped as he saw the patch… the clothing… the choice of weapon… the vest. It couldn't be… it just wasn't possible. He didn't look at all familiar as he held John's gaze, but the man obviously recognized him. He looked at John as if he was staring face to face with a ghost. "Colonel Sheppard?" the man spoke in a daze.

To Be Continued….

A/N: I know it would seem kinda shocking that John would be friends with the guy who's designated to punish him, but they've been in the same boat for quite a few years and I think John is pretty good at telling who the real good guys are. Technically Vallen is a slave just as John is, and later I'll hopefully be able to address some of the things that have haunted the poor guy with all he's been forced to do. Anyway, don't forget to push that purple button! It's the fuel that keeps me going:D


	4. Chapter 4

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Well, I'm finally giving you what you want. John and Elizabeth finally see each other… but it may not be as great a reunion as you'd think…. Review please!**

* * *

Chapter Four

He'd never run harder in his life, almost launching off the ground with no regard to his lungs. Sweat dripped down his face from his efforts; he knew he was going to be paying for this later. Just as he reached the gate he lost his footing and flew face first into the ground. "Damn idiot," he muttered, getting to his feet as quick as possible, dialing the gate. "Come on, come on, come on." The damn gate couldn't dial fast enough. Finally the gate's wormhole established with its usual 'kawoosh' and after sending in his code, he stumbled through the Stargate.

* * *

"Doctor Weir! It's Doctor Parker," announced one of the gate technicians.

"Already! Oh god… what now?" he asked, walking over to him. "Are they coming in hot?"

"No," he told her, looking at the gate as it sprang to life, the watery surface glowing before them.

When she saw him come through and almost collapse to his knees Elizabeth immediately ran over to him. "Will! What happened? Where are the others?" As she leaned down she could hear his heavy breathing.

Will grabbed her shoulders, smiling brightly. "We found him, Elizabeth! We actually found them! The both of them! Their alive! I hadn't believed it at first, but it's him! It's really him!"

"Will, what are you talking about? Who's alive? Found who?"

"John! Colonel John Sheppard!" he exclaimed, still trying to catch his breath. "Their okay! Teyla and John… their both okay!"

Elizabeth's heart stopped as what Will had just told her sunk in. Suddenly she couldn't breath, couldn't think. She felt cold as the shock of his words ran through her, leaving her speechless, confused, completely stunned.

Will moved a hand to her cheek. "He's alive, Elizabeth. We found him," he whispered to her, stroking her cheek.

"You… you… you actually found him. He's… he's alive?"

"Yes, but there is much you must know. They are slaves to a man named Mr. Sorne. We must act quickly; apparently they will be leaving in two days after the festival is completely finished."

"Wait, Will… how? Where? How did you even find him?"

"He was stealing food! Apparently Sorne rewards bad behavior with beatings and empty stomachs. Colonel Sheppard tried to escape and somehow a chip implanted in his brain activated. He passed out and the chip sent out a signal as to his whereabouts. Ronan wanted to just take him and Teyla forcibly from the slave owner, but there's no way we'll be able to. It would take major surgery to take the chip out; unfortunately having Carson take a field trip isn't good enough. He and Teyla will need to be sent to Earth and go through brain surgery from an experienced surgeon, or at least have someone come to Atlantis."

She was barely following a word he said, but what she did get allowed her at least some understanding of the situation. Alive. Bad owner. Carson can't take a field trip. That was about most of what she got. "So how do you propose we do that?" Elizabeth asked.

Will smiled. "Well, John mentioned it would take a seriously amazing negotiator to get Sorne to sell him and Teyla, thankfully… we have one of those. I came to take you to the planet… so we could buy John Sheppard and Teyla Emmagon. I have a plan."

* * *

"You ready?" Will asked her hours later as they stood before the gate in gear and ready to go.

"Nope… not even close," she told him honestly.

Doctor Parker just smiled. "You'll do fine, Elizabeth… you're the best of the best. Don't worry so much… it's not good for your health," he teased, nudging her slightly.

"Yes Doctor," she teased back, feeling her nerves ease at his encouragement.

Once the last chevron began to glow and the wormhole stabilized Will took one last look at her before taking her hand. "Come on… let's go bag us some slaves eh?"

Elizabeth frowned, taking in a shaky breath as he pulled her through the gate. She really, really did not want to do this.

* * *

"This is it," he whispered to her, staring at the wooden door before them. "Ronan, Colonel Lorne, and McKay are already inside beginning negotiations. I asked them to 'inspect' the 'goods,' if you know what I mean." Will walked toward the door, surprised when his hand jerked back softly. Since they'd reached the planet she'd been gripping his hand tighter than a lifeline. "Everything alright, Elizabeth?"

"I can't do this… maybe you should be in charge of the negotiations."

"Elizabeth, Colonel Sheppard warned us this man would be a hard nut to crack. We need the best, and frankly I'm just not going to cut it. I don't have your instincts… your experience… your talent."

"I just can't do it, Will. I can't face… I just can't," she whispered, backing away.

"You mean you can't face him?" Will asked softly, making her stop in surprise. "Don't be so shocked… I may not be able to read people with the same skill you have, but I do have a brain. I read between the lines years ago. I know you two had a… thing. I figured out long ago why Emily seems to have his eyes… and his smile."

Elizabeth closed her eyes. He did know. "I didn't really want anyone to know.…"

"Elizabeth, I understand why you don't want to go in there. It's not that you fear failure, but that you fear you may succeed. He'd be back on Atlantis… back in your life, and you're not sure how to handle it all after so many years. You know if he comes back… he'll see her, and you'll have to tell him the truth about Emily. And Emily will have to know the truth about him. I don't know what happened between the two of you, Elizabeth, but I do know you still care for him… or this wouldn't be affecting you so much. He doesn't deserve this life… he deserves to go home. You owe him at least that."

Elizabeth took in a deep breath, wiping her eyes as she stared at the door. "Don't let go." She'd never felt so scared in all her life. She didn't want to face him, but she couldn't let him down. Will was right… she owed him that. She owed him her best despite what issues laid between them.

Will smiled, kissing her hand before pulling her closer to the door. "I promise."

* * *

Sheppard paced back and forth, Ronan, Teyla, McKay, Lorne, and Vallen watching in silence at his panic. "They should be here by now."

"Relax, John, I am sure Doctor Weir and Doctor Parker are coming," Teyla assured him.

"What if something happened? What if they were attacked? They're probably being bid as slaves by now!" he exclaimed, unable to calm down.

"Will was sent to protect, Elizabeth, he'd never let anything happen to her," Ronan told him.

"He's a Doctor, Ronan! Not a warrior!"

"_Doctor_ Will Parker was in the Army for years… he's a damn good fighter and he's saved all of our asses a hundred times over. Believe me, you'd be surprised at the things he can do," Lorne informed him, staring John in the face.

Sheppard frowned, surprised at how bold _Colonel_ Lorne had become. So much had already changed in his absence. Then again, they were of the same rank now…. Still, he didn't know the man, and John tended to be suspicious of people he didn't know… especially after the last few years of his life. "You may have faith in him Colonel, but he's no superman."

"Yeah, and neither are you by the way," McKay chimed in.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Enough!" Vallen shouted. "John, you are about to be returned to your home! These people came here to free you! They are your friends! Do not direct your anger and frustration at them! Have faith that they will come… that is all you can have by this point."

"Considering everything that's happened, forgive me if faith isn't in the equation anymore, Vallen… I lost that years ago…" he muttered.

Just then the door opened and one of the slaves walked inside. "The others have returned with that in which they wish to trade. You may enter."

Lorne looked over at Sheppard with almost a smug look on his face as he walked through the door first, the others right behind him before John hurried toward the door. Vallen's hand moved to his shoulder stopping him, while Teyla left the two alone. "You truly are a fool sometimes, friend," he whispered to him, patting the shoulder before walking out ahead. Sheppard just sighed and followed behind.

* * *

"This device can literally withstand any attack and protect the user from even feeling a thing. You could drop from a mountain and you'd be able to walk away without even a scratch. You'd be invincible," Elizabeth told Sheppard and Teyla's 'owner' with confidence she didn't even think she had at the moment.

"What's the catch?" Sorne asked her, folding his arms.

Elizabeth just smiled before turning to Will, putting on the device for him. "Punch him… shoot him, do whatever you want."

Sorne smiled before turning to Vallen. "Whip him," he ordered.

Vallen nodded and pulled the whip from his side, snapping the whip against Will. He didn't even flinch. Vallen stood in surprise as he rolled his whip up and hit him again, the green glow surrounding Parker as the whip tried to make contact. Nothing. Finally Vallen rolled up his whip and put it away. "Amazing," he whispered.

"And it's all yours… for two of your slaves," Will told Sorne with a smug smile, giving nothing away.

"One slave…" Sorne told him.

"Two or we leave," Elizabeth said.

Sorne shook his head getting up. "I'm impressed… Doctor Weir, but these two slaves… they are of great value. I paid far more than you will ever imagine for them, and it is my duty to break them. They do not listen, they are insolent… I will give you the woman, but the male… he must learn his place."

Elizabeth took a step forward, matching his smile. "Oh don't worry, I can teach him just as well. Give me them both… I'll be just fine. You'd be surprised just how… convincing I can be."

"Oh I wouldn't be surprised, Doctor Weir. You truly are an amazing woman, but I will not give you both for that device."

Elizabeth looked over at John and Teyla. "Then I suppose we'll just have to go elsewhere and find what we need. Too bad… the male was starting to grow on me," she said, looking him up and down. "Oh well, perhaps Mr. Yinair shall be interested… he had quite a few slaves that were quite nice."

Elizabeth moved to walk away, surprising even Will as his smile disappeared and he moved to follow. "Wait!" Sorne said, moving forward slowly. "Yinair is my enemy… would you truly deal with him?"

"If not you, who else? I offer you something better than money, Sorne. I offer you invincibility and you want to keep a simply slave? An insolent slave at that!"

She was good… too good. Will had never truly seen her this way; it was as if she were a different person. It was actually rather sexy. It was no wonder the woman had attracted someone like John Sheppard, he'd heard stories from many on Atlantis about his extra curricular activities. Apparently he'd been quite the ladies man… it was no wonder he and Elizabeth had been so close. How could you not be interested in a woman as mysterious and alluring as Elizabeth?

Sorne smiled shaking his head as he looked over at John, walking over to him. "I have a feeling this one may just be the one thing to keep you in line. You may have both him and Teyla… your argument was convincing. I am impressed… very impressed. Sold, to Doctor Elizabeth Weir. You may have them both for your personal shield."

Elizabeth just bowed her head in agreement. "You won't regret this, Sorne."

It wasn't like he needed to know he needed the Ancient gene in order to operate the thing. God she was beautiful. How did she go from one woman to the next? Just a second ago she hadn't even been sure she could do it, and yet here now she'd finalized a deal for two slaves in one day! Will walked over to her. "I think I'm in love," he whispered in her ear teasingly.

Elizabeth just smiled at him, trying to avoid looking over at John. Since the moment they'd laid eyes on each other she'd felt her knees go weak, her heart had nearly stopped, only to speed up again even faster than before. She did her best to be the negotiator, it gave her strength, but the moment she would look at him, she'd feel weak once more. Pretty soon she was sure it was going to start to show.

She could feel his eyes on her as Vallen was told to take the two slaves, for their chips to be converted for their new owner. Finally she took a moment to pull up her own personal shield that protected her heart and chanced a look his way. She knew exactly what he wanted to tell her. They'd always been good at communicating without words.

'Thank you.'

Elizabeth simply gave a small smile in return. In that moment she knew things would change drastically. A second later he turned away and moved a hand to grab Teyla's and Elizabeth felt her breath catch. Maybe drastically wasn't a strong enough word…. Finally Elizabeth looked back at Will who seemed to have seen the same, and took her own hand in his. "Come on, let's sign the papers and get the hell outta here," he said, squeezing her hand.

Elizabeth just nodded, refusing to let go. It seemed she wasn't the only one who'd moved on… or had she?

To Be Continued….


	5. Chapter 5

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: I know how much you guys seem to be looking forward to seeing Emily and John meet, so this chapter is for all those who wanted to see it happen! ;)**

* * *

Chapter Five

When she'd heard the fuss between Carson and her mother in the gateroom she'd known something big was going on. Any time her mother acted that nervous and on edge, something was up. Emily stuck her head out once more from her hidden corner and watched as her mother ran a hand through her hair. "How are they?"

"Malnutrition, whippings, not to mention the obvious emotional scarring. I don't think anyone could understand what they've been through. Doctor Heightmeyer's gonna have her hands full," Carson told her with a somber expression.

"Somehow I'm not surprised. When you hear the word slavery, it's not like a pleasant lifestyle comes to mind. Alright, so what do you propose we do about their physical wounds?"

"I've treated the cuts and scarring on their backs and I believe I have a diet that should suit their needs and get them back to full health and the right weight range. As it is their practically skin and bones. It will be a while before their back to normal. I've also compiled a good workout routine that should improve body mass, but that's all I can do I'm afraid. The rest is up to their friends. Will has already contacted Stargate Command to inform them of Colonel Sheppard's condition. A specialist is being sent to deal with the problem of the chip still in their mind. Thankfully Rodney's been working on some of the medical equipment the Ancient's left behind and we believe some of it may help as well as Asguard beaming technology that may be calibrated to be used to remove the chip."

Emily's mother smiled. "Good work, Carson, dismissed."

Carson nodded and began to leave before turning back to look at Elizabeth. "Just give a shout if you'd like to visit them. I'm sure they could use the support after everything that's happened. I'm keeping them both in the infirmary till tomorrow. The chip won't be a danger unless they leave Atlantis."

Elizabeth just looked down. "I'll keep that in mind, Carson… thank you."

Carson just smiled back before walking away.

Emily frowned. She'd been told tons and tons of stories about a Colonel John Sheppard. It'd be nice to actually meet him. Just as the thought entered her mind the young child ran off for the infirmary.

* * *

He really hated the infirmary. It was so damn boring. John sat up in the bed and swung his legs over the side, trying to come up with something to do. Teyla was fast asleep, and it sucked having no one to talk to. It was then that he heard something fall to the ground, making a loud ring as it bounced on the floor. "Hello?"

He was surprised to say the least when a young girl stuck her head out from one of the other rooms, cocking her head to the side before walking in. "You have funny hair," she told him, looking at him curiously.

Sheppard laughed, jumping off his bed as he stared at the child. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Why does it stick up like that?" she asked.

"And you are?"

"Emily."

"Hello Emily… I'm John. What are you doing in here?"

The young child took another step forward, her curls framing her adorable face perfectly, her green eyes staring into his as she tried to figure him out. "I live here."

"I mean in the infirmary."

Emily simply stared at him.

Sheppard sighed, running a hand through his hair. "So… how old are you exactly?"

"How old are you?" she shot back.

John smiled at that, amused. "Are you at least gonna tell me who you're parents are?" he asked.

"My daddy's been gone since before I was born, my mommy doesn't like to talk about him so I don't ask. And my mommy works here… she's the boss!"

"The boss?" John frowned, trying to connect the dots. "Is your mom named Doctor Elizabeth Weir?" he asked.

"Yup, I'm Emily Weir," she told him running up to sit beside him on the bed. "My mommy says you're a hero…."

He tried to play it off, but he'd felt his heart skip a beat at the news that the kid was actually Elizabeth's. She couldn't be more than five or six. Good god, who the hell was her father? It made sense, Emily certainly looked like Elizabeth. Same curly hair. He'd always loved Elizabeth's hair. 'Don't go there, John that was a long time ago. You're with Teyla now.' John cleared his throat, still getting over the shock that Elizabeth had a kid. "She said I was a hero? Really? Are we talking about the same person?" he joked. "What else did she say about me?"

"Lots of stuff! She said you were her bestest friend…" Emily told him.

John chuckled. "Bestest you say?"

"Yup."

John was about to ask another question when Doctor Beckett walked through the door. "Emily! There you are! Elizabeth and I have been looking all over for you!" he said in a thick Scottish accent… which usually meant he was angry. "You can't be runnin' off like that!" Carson turned on his radio. "I found her, Elizabeth, she's in the infirmary."

Sheppard watched the little girl as she jumped off the bed, suddenly looking very sad as she walked over to Carson. "I wasn't trying to run off! I just wanted to meet the guy with the funny hair!"

"My hair is not funny looking," John said in his defense getting up from the bed. "I'll have you know most women find it very attractive."

"What's attracive mean?"

"_Attrac**t**ive_, Emily, with a T. It means something or someone who as a quality that people like," Carson explained after finishing his conversation with Elizabeth.

"And funny hair's attracive?" she said, trying her best to pronounce the word without success.

Carson smiled. "Don't ask me why, but there are those who seem to like it," Carson told her, trying hard not to laugh.

John just folded his arms, glaring at Carson. "I've been gone for six years and this is how you treat me?"

"Sorry, bad habits and all that," Beckett explained.

When the doors opened, John could help but stare as Elizabeth walked in, ignoring everyone else as she walked over to Emily, getting down on one knee. "Thank god! What have I told you about sneaking off like that! You had me worried!"

"Sorry mommy!"

"Apparently she must have heard you and I talking and decided to investigate our arrivals. When I found her in her she was talking with John," Doctor Beckett told her.

Elizabeth picked up her daughter with ease before getting up and looking over at John for the first time. He on the other hand hadn't been able to look away. She'd changed so much. Too much. "Sorry, Emily I'm afraid never got the story about curiosity killing the cat," she said, looking over at her daughter for the last part.

"I just wanted to say hi!" she defended.

"I don't care, Emily, we do not wander off. Do it again and you're not going to the mainland this weekend."

"But-"

"That's final missy," Elizabeth said sternly before gently easing her daughter down, grabbing her hand as she looked over at John once more, suddenly seeming to be far more uncomfortable. "Sorry again… sometimes I swear she's her father's child." Elizabeth seemed to wince at her words before looking away. John could tell Carson was becoming just as uncomfortable.

"It's fine… we had a… interesting conversation," John told her, winking at Emily, which made the young girl smile.

Elizabeth just looked away; making him frown as he saw her eyes seem to tear up… he had to be seeing things. What was her problem? "Right well, I better go. Excuse me." Elizabeth rushed toward the door.

"Bye John!" Emily said with a wave before being lead out the door.

John waved back, smiling. "Cute kid."

Beckett cleared his throat. "Uh yeah, you know perhaps I'd be best if you got back to your bed now."

John nodded, still staring at the door. "What's the story behind that anyway? Elizabeth couldn't have had her but a year or two after I was taken..."

Carson sighed. "Unfortunately that's too long a story to be told right now and not really all that happy a tale truth be told. Now, off to bed. You need your rest."

John finally pulled his eyes from the door and walked back to his own bed. "Right…."

* * *

Elizabeth rushed out of the room, knowing if she stayed any longer he'd notice her breaking. She couldn't face him yet, wasn't prepared to. Elizabeth wiped away her tears furiously. "Mommy… why are you crying?" her daughter asked, her voice filled with fear, making Elizabeth stop in her tracks as she looked down.

Weir stroked Emily's cheek softly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, don't worry. I guess I just wasn't ready to see him again…" she said more to herself than to her daughter.

"Why not?"

Elizabeth smiled stooping down to look into her child's eyes. "Something's are just really hard to explain, honey. John Sheppard and I… well let's just say things are a lot different from our time together before you were born."

"Do you hate him?" she asked innocently.

Elizabeth shook her head. "No sweetie, I could never hate him… he was a very… important part of my life. I loved him… love him, always will I suppose."

"Like the way you love Will?" Emily looked down for a second before her eyes searched out Elizabeth's.

She was smarter than she looked. Weir wasn't sure how, but she was one of the smartest kids she'd ever known… ironic that she'd be her own. "I do love, Will, Emily… but there are just some things… before John left he gave me a very special gift. He gave me a piece of him, a very important piece and for the rest of my life that gift will always be close to my heart. Even thought things have changed… we'll always have that. Do you understand?"

"It must have been SOME present!" Emily said with a frown. "What did he give you?"

Elizabeth just smiled, pulling a curl behind her daughter's ear. "Come on, time to go, your mother is a busy woman, you know."

"I know." Emily tightened her grip on Elizabeth's hand once again walking along side her. "Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Love you," the six year old said, resting her head against her mother's arm.

"Love you too, honey… with every piece of my heart," she assured her, squeezing her daughter's hand. It really was true. John had given Elizabeth the best gift she'd ever known, nothing could touch it, and she doubted anything could. She just wished his gift hadn't made things so complicated. When she'd faced him, realizing her daughter had just met her father without even realizing it… she hadn't known how to react. She knew she couldn't hide Emily from John forever, but the very thought of telling him… it terrified her. She wasn't sure she could do it, could face what it would mean for the two of them. He's been a father for six years and he never even knew it. How do you tell someone that? For the first time in a very long time, Elizabeth could see her life spinning out of control, and she had no idea how to stop it. He deserved to know he was father, but what about his relationship with Teyla? What about her relationship with Will?

There were so many questions, so many concerns. She had no idea what to expect, no clue what was better for Emily, or herself… or John. She just didn't know, and that was the worst part. It was the not knowing that she feared most… what if he wanted nothing to do with his daughter? And what about Emily? How do you tell your six year old daughter that the man she'd just spoken to was her father? Elizabeth could feel the tears return, but Elizabeth closed her eyes before they could fall. She needed time to figure things out. She couldn't think about this now. The fact was, John obviously cared for Teyla, and she already had someone who cared for her. If she were to tell John the truth, everything would change, including his relationship with Teyla. Was she willing to put them through that after what they'd been through? Elizabeth was starting to think life would have been much better if they'd never found them at all….

To Be Continued….

A/N: Well, Emily's met her father, of course neither her nor John have any idea they're connected. Will Elizabeth tell John about Emily? And what about Teyla and Will? Review and you just might know the answers to those questions and more! lol


	6. Chapter 6

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: I tried to finish this chapter as fast as I could since some were threatening me unless I hurried up… :cough: Stargate Crazy and Kittypank :cough:D**

* * *

Chapter Six

Will played with his food, glancing at the woman across from him every once in a while. "Stop that," she finally said, not even looking at him.

"Stop what?" he asked, trying to play dumb.

Elizabeth sighed, looking up at him with her usual glare. He always hated that glare… it was unnerving.

"It must have been pretty awkward… I mean technically yesterday Emily met her father for the first time."

"Will, I don't want to talk about it."

"Of course you don't," he mumbled, unfortunately she heard his little remark.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked, putting down her fork.

Will shrugged. "Every time we get on the subject of Emily's father you're running away from the conversation."

"I do not."

"Actually, you do… every single time."

Elizabeth let out a harsh breath, obviously getting frustrated. "No I don't."

"Yes Elizabeth, you do."

"No William, I don't."

Parker smiled at that. He always knew he was soon to be in trouble when she would call him by his full name. It was never a good sign, and usually ended with him trying to talk his way out of the dog house. "I'm just saying, I've noticed it's a bit of a sore subject."

"To say the least."

"You just don't want to deal with the fact that sooner or later you're going to have to tell him about his six year old daughter."

"Drop it, Will," she said, grabbing her fork.

William frowned, moving her head up so she would look at him. "You know… whatever you decide; you don't have to go through with it all alone."

Elizabeth smiled warmly at him, taking his hand in her own. "I know. I do want to talk to you about it… just not now."

"I know." Will took his hand away and took his own fork. "So where is the little brat? I haven't seen her all morning."

"Carson took her today. He was planning to take out her stitches today, so he just offered to take her."

"Ah…" Will said, nodding before looking down at his meal. "Do," he muttered.

"Don't," she said quickly in return, making him grin.

* * *

It was truly a game of strategy. He knew it was important not to give too much away. He had to be smart about things, choosing every move, every decision carefully. When it came to games of chance, he took things very seriously. John looked at his opponent, ignoring the sweat running down his cheek. "Got any eights?" he asked.

His opponent grinned, her beautiful smile seeming to light up the room. That couldn't be a good sign. "Go fish!"

Sheppard frowned, picking from the deck. Damn, this kid was tough.

"Got any fours?" she asked.

John's frown deepened as he gave her the card, groaning as she put her full hand down.

"I won!" she announced.

Sheppard folded his arms. "Good thing we weren't playing poker… I'd probably be broke by now," he muttered. It wasn't right… how could he lose to a six year old… five freakin' times in a row!

"What can I say? My mommy taught me well," Emily said, gathering the cards together. "She loves card games."

John smiled; flashes of Elizabeth in her office playing Solitare filled his mind. "I remember… it helped her relax."

Finally Carson walked back into the room. "Who won this time?" he asked with a grin when John glared at him.

"I did! Didn't take me long either!" Emily quickly told him.

"Okay, okay… so I suck at 'Go Fish,' there has got to be a game I can beat you on!"

"Good luck with that!" Carson muttered. "Emily Weir may be six, but she plays like a thirty year old card champion."

"Chess?"

Carson shook his head.

"Uno?"

"Not if you want to win," Emily cut in with a smug smile.

This kid could NOT be six. It just wasn't possible. "How about we put the games aside and do something else. We do have a TV… and I happen to have a tape of this football game… we could watch that. What do you say, Emily?"

Emily folded her arms. "Football's boring! All they do is run from one side of the field to the other. I'd rather play than watch."

"Hey! Football is an incredible sport filled with surprises and ingenious strategy."

The Weir shook her head, as Carson once again left, laughing as he went.

"I could tell you a scary story… I'm pretty good with that."

Emily raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't like scary stories, they give me nightmares."

John deflated. She was giving him a headache. "Well… what DO you want to do?"

Emily thought for a moment before a huge smile appeared on her face.

Sheppard smiled, watching the young girl color, her focus so completely on her work, she didn't even notice him staring. He'd give up long ago on his picture of the Wraith warrior in a woman's dress… especially when Carson had taken a guess at what it was. "What you drawing?" he asked her, noticing what looked like a family all together.

"That's my mommy and me," she told him, pointing to the people in her drawing as she explained. "Then there's Will carrying me on his shoulders like he always does. Then Carson, Rodney, and Ronan are on the other side over here. It's a picture of my family."

Sheppard smiled. "What about that one on the end… the one you're still working on?" he asked her, noticing the brown hair seeming to go every which way.

"That's you," she explained. "Mommy says Carson, Rodney, and Ronan are like my uncles, so I figured now that you live here, you can be one too!"

"An uncle? I'd be honored… never been an uncle before. Any requirements that I should know about?"

"Just bring me lots of presents," she told him.

Sheppard chuckled at that, shaking his head. "I see what I can do."

It was a while before John realized anyone else was in the room, as he was only alerted when Emily stopped what she was doing and looked up. "Will!" she almost screamed, jumping up from the floor and straight into the man's arms.

"Hey! Short stuff! Missed ya," he confessed, kissing her forehead.

"Missed you too," Emily said, hugging him to the point that John was sure the man's head would turn blue.

Finally Doctor Parker looked over at him, smiling. "Colonel Sheppard, how are you?"

"Oh pretty good, just drawing with the kiddo," he explained, grabbing his own picture.

Will took a glance, chuckling at Sheppard's creation. "Is that a Wraith in a woman's dress?" he asked.

"Thank you! Carson said it looked more like a frog with pink strips!"

Parker grinned at that. "Ah he's just jealous of your outstanding creative abilities," he joked.

"Yes well, we can't all be perfect now can we?"

"No, no we can't." The two men chuckled once more before Will turned his attention back on Emily. "Go get your stuff. It's time for you flying lesson."

"Yes!" she cried out, jumping from the Doctor's arms before scrambling to get his stuff.

Will picked up the deck of cards and looked up at John. "How bad?"

"She slaughtered me," he admitted with a sigh.

"You wouldn't be the first, and you probably won't be the last either."

"Good to know I guess." John had to admit, although from the moment they'd met, he hadn't been sure if trusting Doctor William Parker was such a good idea, he could tell everyone else around loved the guy. He hadn't heard a single bad report about him from those who'd come to visit. In fact most seemed almost absolutely smitten… well the women anyway. He could tell from his talks with Carson that many respected the Doctor, so he supposed he should also. Of course he hadn't been very pleased when Teyla had remarked that the man was 'extremely attractive.' Still, he seemed like a good enough man. It had only been two days and Sheppard was already falling for Emily… the kid was like nothing he'd ever seen before, and she amused him to no end. If she liked… loved him, that was good enough for John.

When Emily finally rushed back to Will, the Doctor gave John a warm hand shake. "See ya around."

"Right, take care." John looked over at Emily, poking her stomach to make her giggle. "See ya later, Emily."

"By John!" she said with a wave, walking with Will out of the room.

John shook his head, unable to control his smile as he sat back in his bed and turned on the TV to watch one of his football tapes, before realizing he'd sat on something. Pulling the paper from underneath him and couldn't help but pause as he looked at the drawing Emily had made, with him standing off to the side, some writing underneath the picture.

_To my Uncle John. _

_By Emily Weir _

To Be Continued….


	7. Chapter 7

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Sorry, this one's a bit of a cliffhanger… but it's necessary for the story, so don't kill me! And as always review if you want more!**

* * *

Chapter Seven

"So, what exactly does this thing do again?" he asked the little naked creature before him, a little uneasy about the whole procedure.

Hermiod gave his usual glare. "We are mapping your brain so we may acquire the data we will need in order to remove the chip. This will allow us to program its exactly position as well as allow us to learn what important cells are in that same area, thereby avoiding mistakes that could lead to your death during the procedure."

"In other words, we're trying not to beam out a piece of your brain when we take out this chip," Rodney explained with his usual tact.

Sheppard frowned. "Guess it would be important to make sure you don't take anything I'll need later."

"As if," McKay mumbled. "You never used it before."

"I heard that!"

"Will you stop moving?! Our scans won't be correct if you keep doing that!" McKay shouted.

Sheppard puffed out a breath, moving his head back in place. "How long is this gonna take?"

"Not long."

"And how long is that?"

"Scanning here!" McKay snapped, staring at the screen.

Elizabeth smiled. "Just let them do their job, John… so you can get back to yours. Besides, I doubt you want to spend anymore time cooped up in the infirmary."

"Never have you spoke truer words," he told her, trying to keep still.

"Having fun, John?" Will asked as he walked through the door. John looked at him from the corner of his eye, watching him kiss Elizabeth's lips in greeting.

"Always," he told him, suddenly feeling slightly awkward. He wasn't sure he was comfortable just yet watching Elizabeth and her obvious boyfriend being so close. It was obvious he loved her, but what surprised him was how comfortable she was with him. It was almost as if they portrayed the perfect couple. Somehow, that image just didn't sit well with him even after more than six years. He knew his loyalty was to Teyla, but he couldn't just wipe clean the time he'd spent with Elizabeth either. She may have moved on, but it was hard for him to completely. What they'd shared… it hadn't exactly been the same as the other women he'd fallen for, maybe not even with Teyla, although that wasn't a thought he wanted to meditate on.

Will turned to Elizabeth, John silently watching as Rodney talked to himself. "I dropped Emily off on the mainland for you. Apparently Meika has their whole weekend planned out," he told her with some amusement.

"Well, it's not like they get to see each other everyday, I'm sure they've missed each other."

"Okay… done," McKay finally announced.

"Finally!" Sheppard exclaimed, jumping off the bed.

Will let out a chuckle. "I'll go get Teyla," he told them, walking out the door.

John glanced over at Elizabeth, knowing they needed to talk. There was a lot to discuss, things he wasn't so sure he wanted to talk about, but needed to just the same. Slowly he walked over to her, trying to keep his voice down as McKay and Hermoid checked out the data one his mapped out brain. "Can I talk to you?" he asked.

Elizabeth smiled her usual smirk. "I believe we're talking right now," she told him.

John smiled back. "In private I mean… it's kinda important."

Elizabeth nodded, suddenly serious. "Follow me." Weir walked out of the room and through the hallways until finally reaching yet another room. It wasn't a bedroom, in fact it looked surprisingly bare, only with a desk to the side with some stuff on top. "Now what did you want to discuss?"

"Uh, well you see… there's this friend I made during my time as a slave," he began, trying to pick the right words. "If not for him… well, let's just say he taught me a lot during my time there, kept me alive more than once actually. I knew at the time buying all three of us wasn't gonna work, but I do know the planet Sorne lives on. It was my hope that you might be able to save him some how. Beam him out and take that damn chip out of his brain. Their ships don't have hyperdrive, you could easily out-run them."

Elizabeth shook her head. "John, as it is we have enough enemies. And I doubt stealing a slave is going to be as simple as you make it out to be. I'd need quite a lot more information before I even thought about putting this ship in danger, and you know Caldwell would feel the same way."

"Vallen is a friend! He saved my life, protected me from getting myself killed instead of a few beatings here and there. I owe him, and I promised him I wouldn't just leave him behind."

"John, I bought you and Teyla because you two weren't there's in the first place. You were stolen, you were our people."

"What ever happened to never leave a man behind?"

"He's not our man," Elizabeth reminded him.

"Elizabeth, please-"

"I'm not saying no, John, but for right now we have enough on our hands. One at a time. First we get those chips out of your heads, then we worry about this Vallen fellow."

John sighed, knowing that was the end of it. At least she'd think about it. And if she said no, she'd have a big fight on her hands. He knew Teyla would side with him, Vallen had helped them both, been a friend to them both. "Okay…" he said, looking away.

"Is that all?" she asked.

He hesitated then. "Emily seems like quite the kid," he began.

Elizabeth seemed surprised with the chance in subject, moving back and over to the desk to sit on it. "Well, I may be a little biased, but I'd say so."

John smiled at that. "You know, I don't think I ever imagined you having kids."

Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head. "Neither did I… but then again she wasn't exactly planned."

"What about her father? I mean, I kinda figured Will wasn't it since she calls him by his name…."

"Oh uh-"

"I don't mean to pry, it's just that… we've been friends for a while… thought we could have a little time to catch up," he interrupted, explaining his curiosity.

Elizabeth looked down. "It's okay… it's just… Emily's dad left before she was born. He hasn't been in the picture since. He and I… we just weren't meant to be, I guess. Will's been more of a father to her than her real father."

"Wow… he sounds like a jerk," he said, sitting beside her.

Elizabeth laughed at that. "He was a good man… he just wasn't the right man," she explained.

"Well… at least you have Will."

"Yeah…" she agreed her voice suddenly soft.

"She called me her uncle… never been an uncle before."

Elizabeth looked up at him, looking even more surprised than before. "What?"

"You seem surprised," he noted sarcastically.

"Sorry, it's just… it usually takes a while for Emily to warm up to a person, even one I've told her about. She must… really… like you."

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked cautiously.

"Of course not… I just… I guess it just took me off guard."

"Oh well… maybe I can get some lessons on being an uncle from Ronan. I hear from Carson, Emily loves the guy."

Elizabeth laughed. "Ronan's been teaching her self defense… Emily seems to like that almost as much as she likes flying with Will. She's a lot like her father in that respect."

"He was military?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, getting up.

John got up with her, walking with her out of the room. "Not exactly the guy I expected you to be attracted to."

Elizabeth sighed. "Yeah well, you know that saying… opposites attract."

They were heading back to check on Teyla. That was Elizabeth, always worried about her people. "True." Maybe their relationship wasn't so screwed up after all. Maybe they could go back to the friendship they'd once had. He always thought their little one night stand had pretty much ruined things, but he supposed maybe all that was really behind them after so long. She had Will… he had Teyla… everything was perfect…. So why did he get the feeling Elizabeth was holding back? Maybe they could go back to being friends, but he had a feeling something was going on with her. She was keeping something from him… he could feel it. He knew her well enough even after so many years apart. But what would she want to hide from him?

* * *

"You're kidding me…."

"Truth be told I wish I was," she said sitting in between his legs, his arms around her as they sat in their favorite spot on the ship. Over the years, after so much time, the ship had almost become a home away from home… away from home. It hadn't taken long for them to find the hatch not too far from the engine room, comfortable and private.

"And she actually called him her 'uncle'?!" he clarified, obviously just as disturbed by the news.

"Emily has NEVER warmed up to someone like that!"

Will smiled, leaning back, taking her with him against his chest. "You mean other than General O'Neill."

"The man could make a Vulcan laugh, Will, I don't count him."

"I thought you were always laughing with John during your days on Atlantis."

Elizabeth sighed, taking his hands from around her waist and moved them over her own, they always got so cold. Will never seemed bothered by drops in temperature. "God, this is getting out of hand fast."

"Why don't you just tell her the truth?! In fact, why don't you just tell them BOTH the truth?! You know I'd be there right with you if you need the support. I've had quite a few conversations with him; he seems like a good enough guy. He must have been if you loved him."

"Will, you know I can't. I'm not ready, for any of this! God, this would be so much easier if we'd never even found him."

"Elizabeth, he was a god damn slave! How can you say that? What the hell's gotten into you? I've never seen you like this before." She'd never been this much of a wreck. She was usually the wise one, always reminding everyone else to do what's right when they (and that included himself) wanted to do what was easier.

"You don't understand! John and I… we… he hated me when he left for that mission. I hurt him, Will. He cared for me and all I could think about was whether it would cloud my judgment or not! From the day we met I'd grown attached to him. He was one of my closest friends, someone I could lean on, count on, and relax around. I was willing to let him sacrifice his life to save Atlantis, go on a suicide mission despite the fact that if he'd died I never would have forgiven myself. And then when he came back… it was as if I was alive again. We could have done it. I could have at least tried and I didn't even do that. And now he's with Teyla… they took a chance. All they had was each other and it brought them together. What if telling him the truth pushes them apart? And what about Emily? She's just a kid; how is this all going to affect her if I were to tell her the truth. How would we even work things out?"

"Elizabeth, if learning he has a kid breaks up his relationship with Teyla, maybe it wasn't meant to be in the first place. He deserves to know the truth."

"And what if he does know… what if I tell him and he wants nothing to do with her? What if I tell Emily the truth only for her to learn he doesn't want to be a father to her?"

"You know that isn't going to happen," he fought, knowing him well enough to know he'd accept his responsibilities.

"I can't tell him… I can't… I can't go through it all over again."

It was then that it hit him, making him almost wince as he realized where the true problem lied.

"I can't relive it all again," she whispered. He knew she was crying now. Damn… after everything they'd been through, both Elizabeth and Colonel Sheppard… you'd think they'd get a break, but apparently that was too much to ask for. Will tightened his grip on her.

"It's going to be okay, Elizabeth. I'm here," he soothed her, closing his eyes as she turned in his arms, sobbing against his chest. "We have plenty of time... one day you'll be able to tell him, and I'll be right there beside you. We're going to get through this, Elizabeth… you're going to get through this," he promised her, knowing she needed to let everything out. Telling John about Emily was more than just fears and worries. There was a secret she held from him, one bigger than her having Sheppard's kid, bigger than Emily that no one on Atlantis would choose to relieve. There were times when they could almost forget, but that moment had changed everything thereafter… telling John about Emily would be telling John about something Will knew Elizabeth wasn't ready to face… not again. Some secrets were just better left buried….

To Be Continued….


	8. Chapter 8

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: I put a bit of Sparky in for all those who need a dose… and John confronts Elizabeth… looks like things will be getting much worse before they get better! Don't read into that too much, just trying to confuse you:D I know, I know… I'm evil! Lol At least this chapter is bigger than most! That should at least give me a few points… right?!**

* * *

Chapter Eight

He'd looked almost everywhere for her, in fact he was starting to get a little worried. Where could she be?! She couldn't have just disappeared, it was a big ship, but it wasn't THAT big. Sheppard frowned, trying to hold back his frustration. He was just about to head to the infirmary for the procedure that would be removing the chip lodged in his brain, but before he did he'd just wanted one last conversation with Elizabeth. He was smart enough to know part of the awkwardness between them had a lot to do with their last conversation before he'd been kidnapped and made a slave. She hadn't been willing to give them a try, yet he'd been more than willing. It had taken time, but after playing their conversation over and over again, he'd come to realize quite a bit about her. At the time he'd been so angry… he'd never felt so… exposed, and when Elizabeth had wanted to forget… it had hurt. He couldn't deny he'd cared for her, more than any other woman in his past. John loved Teyla, it was a strong feeling he had for her, but more and more he was beginning to realize just how far those feelings came to the ones he'd held for Elizabeth Weir. He doubted he'd ever feel a love like that again, not that he was sure he wanted to.

Still, for more than six years priorities had changed, his life had made yet another drastic change and everyone he'd held dear to him had been ripped away but one. He imagined things would have been very different it he'd never been taken… forced into slavery and sold. At least he'd had Teyla and Vallen to watch over him. He'd always been able to lean on them, especially Teyla. Dignity had been the first thing they'd taken from the two of them, next to go had been pride… one by one they'd picked off all the things that made them human except for one… hope. They'd never lost hope; it had been the only thing that had kept them going. If not for that, they would have both been dead long ago. No one would ever understand the things he'd gone through, they'd gone through. The scars that marked his body proved that very fact. No one could comprehend the pain, forced to work… beaten when you don't work hard enough, or don't get it right the first time. It was all behind him now, but he doubted it was an experience he'd soon forget.

John pushed the thoughts away to escape the dark mood he knew to follow, focusing on finding Elizabeth. Suddenly a door swung open, nearly missing him, and Will slowly walked out, looking far more tired than he'd looked a few hours ago. "Will! You haven't seen Elizabeth around here somewhere have you?" he asked.

Will looked up at him; his eyes seemed duller than before. He'd never seen the man look like that before. "Yeah… I just left her. She's resting right now," he explained.

"Oh, I was hoping to catch her before I go to get the chip removed."

Will smiled faintly, but John could tell it was forced. "Remember to keep your head still."

"I'll try, he mumbled, walking away. "Maybe I'll see Elizabeth after the procedure, see ya Will."

"Good luck John."

"Thanks," he said turning at the corner. What the hell could be up with Will? John had never been this confused in his life.

**__**

**__**

**_Two Days Later_**

"Cadmen, you seriously need to lay off," Will muttered, shaking his head as he, Laura, Rodney, and Ronan watched the movie before them.

"What? I do have a certain unique perspective being I know what it is like to be both a guy and a girl. I'm just saying it would be a lot easier if men knew what it was like to be a woman… they'd certainly have a heck of a lot more dates."

"Laura, I think I do just fine," Will told her. "Rodney's the only one with issues."

"Hey!" Rodney protested, though no one paid him any mind.

"Will, you have good looks, your sensitive, and you're genuinely kind… of course you don't have problems! If you can snag Doctor Weir, you can snag anyone!"

"I do NOT have issues," Rodney cut in. No one paid any attention to him.

"I did not snag, Doctor Weir!" Will fought.

"I thought we were here to finish the movie?" Ronan interrupted, folding his arms.

Cadmen sighed. "Snagged."

"Didn't."

Ronan threw popcorn at them both, giving them a glare before focusing his attention back on the movie. Laura and Will smiled at each other before looking at the movie themselves, even though neither was really paying any attention to it.

"I do NOT HAVE ISSUES!" McKay pressed on.

Laura, Will, and Ronan rolled their eyes in unison.

* * *

"You know, I never realized this until now, but popcorn really does get everywhere…" he noted, pulling off the couch cushions in order to finish cleaning.

"Why do you think I hate the beach… for days you are STILL finding sand in places you don't even want to think about… it's worse for women."

Will looked over, grinning at Cadmen. "Well, I think we've finally figured out why Carson dumped you… you're just too much of a romantic. It's a good thing I'm just a friend and not your date," he mumbled, getting a pillow to the head as revenge. "What?!" he cried out, pretending to be confused by her violence.

"Don't you have a girlfriend to go home to or something?"

Parker frowned, looking away. "I'll probably check on her tomorrow, it's too late tonight. I don't want to risk waking her up if she's sleeping… she barely get's enough as it is."

"You got a brother?"

Will grinned. "All sisters… sorry."

Laura shrugged. "It was worth the shot… any of em cute?" This time it was Laura's turn to be attacked by the flying pillow. The two laughed at that. Will really needed to find new friends. 'Note to self, spend more time learning about Teyla….' Will grinned at that before placing the cushions back in place. "Well, I'm off, later."

"Night."

* * *

He could tell she was avoiding him; she wasn't even trying to hide it. The moment it seemed he stepped into a room, she was walking out. She was never in her office, never in her quarters. He'd noticed how much time she was spending by Doctor Parker's side, but never got any chances to speak with her. It was becoming pretty damn tiresome. Any more of this, and he was going to grab her before she retreated, and lock them both in a closet until she'd speak to him. He'd spoken to Will a few times, but he'd always seemed distant, not like when they'd first met. Something was wrong and it was scaring the hell out of him.

John froze when he saw her, staring up at the sky with the wind blowing at her curls. She was on the balcony; he wasn't sure why that had been the last place he looked. Slowly he walked through the door to the other side, walking beside her. She didn't retreat this time though. Instead she just stood there, not bothering to even look at him, just staring at the starry night, breathing in the salty air. "You've been avoiding me."

Elizabeth closed her eyes. "Shouldn't you be with Teyla right now? Ronan told me you two want to share quarters…."

"Well we have been together for quite a few years. When we were slaves sometimes it seemed like all we had was each other. I love her."

"Yeah… I noticed."

"What about you and Will? Don't you love him?"

Elizabeth smiled. "For over six years all you had was Teyla… for the same time all I had was Will."

"You had the others too… Carson, Ronan, Rodney… even Emily."

Elizabeth finally looked at him, her eyes dark, filled with a sorrow he'd never seen before. "You missed a lot while you were gone," was all she said, before focusing back on the sky.

"You missed a lot while you were here," he shot back, looking down at the dark waves as they crashed against Atlantis. She had no idea what he'd been through. What could have possibly happened while he was gone for her to act this way?

"You know… I'm getting kinda tired, I better head in," she said, once again trying to retreat, this time John wouldn't let her.

He immediately moved into action, grabbing her arm. "Why were you avoiding me?"

Elizabeth looked down, refusing to meet his gaze. "John, let go."

"Ever since I got here you've treated me more like a stranger than a friend. I'm trying to rebuild our friendship, why aren't you!"

Elizabeth shook her head; John was surprised when the moonlight began to highlight her watery eyes. She looked as if she were about to cry. "You may be ready, but I'm not. I'm not ready for any of this! You have no idea how hard it's been!"

"Neither do you!"

"John let me go."

"There was a time when I considered you to be one of my closest friends. Why won't you talk to me?"

"Stop it, John!"

"What are you so afraid of Elizabeth? Why won't you just face me?! If you've got something to say, say it!"

Elizabeth looked into his eyes, pausing, her eyes wide, tears watering her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Finally she snatched her arm out of his grasp and ran off before he could stop her.

John almost screamed in frustration as she walked away before looking back out at the sky, stars covering the sky. The woman almost made him wish for slavery again….

* * *

_There'd been no declaration of love, no dangerous situation to show them how short life could be… it had just been another day. She'd never expected anything, never even thought there was anything to expect. She'd been in her quarters, staring down at her father's pocket watch wondering what he would have thought of the life she now led. Would he be proud of all the good she'd tried to accomplish? Or perhaps ashamed at the person she'd become? She'd changed a lot since coming to Atlantis. She'd done things; ordered things… accepted things too horrible to think back on. There'd been a time when she would have despised the very idea of killing, of murder… of war. She once would have rather died herself than be responsible for killing another being. Her job demanded her conscious be ignored many days. She had to make choices she didn't want to make, and accept the consequences of those actions… it kept her up at night. Carson had tried his best to help her sleep better, but nightmares seemed to be her constant companion. She'd gotten used to them by now._

_On his way back to his own room he'd decided to stop by. He liked to do that sometimes. "Hey… I figured you'd be asleep by now."_

_Elizabeth shrugged, putting down the watch and getting up from the bed. "Yes well, I guess I just wasn't all that tired."_

_John looked down, obviously feeling awkward in her room before his eyes caught on the silver watch, the chain dangling down on her nightstand. "You really like that watch don't you?"_

"_It was my father's… I took it with me when we first came to Atlantis," she explained, picking the item off and holding it as if it were china. "He died a few years ago… it'd been passed onto him by his own father… he always had it with him." Elizabeth had smiled softly at the memory of him explaining the story behind the watch to her when she'd been little. His mother had been the one to have it made for her husband after they were married. Apparently it had been a joke between the two… he'd always been late for dinner… that is until she bought him the watch. When their son had married Elizabeth's mother his father had given it to him as a wedding present… so he'd always know when it was time to go home to his family. There had always been one rule, one her grandfather loved to repeat. Family was everything. In a way the simple watch gave her peace… she felt like he was still with her when she held it in her hands, remembering him showing it to her when she'd been just a child, carefree and happy. She could hold onto those memories, experience those moments again and again every time she felt the cool metal under her skin, the soft tick that as a little girl made her thick of his heart beat when she'd lie on the couch with him, her head to his heart just happy to be safely tucked in his arms. _

"_I guess I can understand why you care about it so much…. You two must have been close."_

_Elizabeth nodded. "He worked a lot, so he wasn't always around, but he was always there when I needed him. Family meant everything to him."_

_John walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder when he noticed the pain in her eyes. "You okay?"_

_Elizabeth looked up, surprised when she realized how close they were, his face only inches away from her own. "I'm fine… I just miss him."_

"_Well, if there's one thing I know… he would have been proud of you," he assured her. She'd known he meant it. She'd seen it in his eyes._

"_I hope so," was all she could say, staring back at him._

"_I know so," he added with a tender smile._

_Before she'd known what she was doing she pulled his head down and kissed him hard. She hadn't tasted him since the whole alien possession thing, but this kiss was different. The other one had been forced upon them both by their captors, this was different. Before she could pull away his arms wrapped around her and their kiss depended. Oh hell, who needed air anyway? She hadn't been sure what possessed her to do it, but the sexual tension had been grading on her ever since their first shared kiss. Still, she knew something else had compelled her. She hadn't bothered to figure out what… a part of her was just too afraid to know. Finally their kiss ended, their eyes locked, their breathing hard from lack of air. Elizabeth kept her arms around him, pulling him back until she felt the bed behind her. She wasn't sure what she'd been thinking, perhaps she hadn't been. It hadn't mattered though. For once she'd wanted to feel out of control, only with him. Tomorrow didn't matter. Consequences didn't matter. All she could hear was one voice running through her mind. 'Sometimes, Elizabeth, it's the crazy moments that count.' She doubted this was really what her father had had in mind, but then again, John Sheppard was very good at clouding her judgment…._

* * *

Elizabeth opened her eyes, holding the blanket tighter, rolling on her back. Memories shot through her mind, unable to suppress them. She could feel the tear run down her cheek. She wasn't sure how much more she could take.

* * *

_They'd stared at each other for what seemed like hours when it was over, neither sure what was happening, neither sure they wanted to know. His forehead fell to hers, resting there as their eyes closed, still locked in their intimate embrace. She'd seen the look in his eyes, something she wasn't sure she wanted to name, but deep down she knew the truth, knew what emotion ran inside him, it was the same she felt, lying with him, trying to control her breathing, not wanting to move. Finally he moved to the side, one arm around her waist as he pulled her to him. She didn't say a word, turning over and moving her head over his heart. She could have sworn his heart beat matched her father's watch still sitting beside the bed, steadily ticking. Her eyes closed and she couldn't help but smile. She could stay in this moment forever._

* * *

Elizabeth immediately stood up, kicking the covers off as the need become stronger and stronger. She couldn't stay here. Not tonight. She ran out of her room, not even bothering to change her clothes as she instantly walked to his door. She knocked a few times, her nerves getting the best of her, but just then the door opened and she saw his tired face appear at the door. "Elizabeth? What's wrong?"

"Can I come inside? Please?"

Doctor Will Parker frowned at first, before stepping aside. "Come on in." Once she was inside and the door was closed, she slammed her lips against his, holding him to her, desperate for the memories to be drowned away. She didn't want to think of anyone else, but Will. She moaned in protest when he pushed her away, a worried look on his face. "What in god's name?! What are you doing?"

She couldn't stop the tears as she rested her forehead against his. "Please Will, make me forget… make me forget everything!"

"Elizabeth-"

"I can't do this anymore! I just want to forget!"

Will grabbed her cheeks softly, forcing her to look at him. "It won't solve anything, you know that."

"I don't care!"

"I do! I won't take advantage of you," he fought.

More tears followed, she tried to close her eyes, but he wouldn't let her. He tenderly kissed her forehead before pulling her into his arms. They didn't say anything as he led her to the bed, letting her crawl in first before he slipped in beside her. He rested her head against his chest, turning off the lights once more. "I'm here, Elizabeth… just sleep. You're not alone."

"I know," she whispered, knowing this was what she'd wanted. Elizabeth closed her eyes, hearing his heart beat. She knew his heart beat was off, different from the ticking of her father's watch unlike John's, but it didn't matter. She felt safer in Will's arms… less alone and stronger than before. Slowly she felt herself drift and let go, feeling him hold her tightly to him. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to leave….

To Be Continued….


	9. Chapter 9

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: I know you all are wondering why Elizabeth's been so weird about this whole Emily thing, but don't give up on me now, much will be revealed soon enough! In the meantime beware of my evil cliffy ending! Lol Sorry to be bad again, but I just couldn't help myself!**

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* * *

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Chapter Nine

She'd been up for hours. Lost in the past, lost in what might be the future. Her mind focused on her conversation with John. Elizabeth Weir had always prided herself on at least trying to do the right thing. Sometimes she wasn't even sure what that was, but if it felt right, she'd try it and hope things would be okay. Her father had been the same way. Even when it would cost him, he never gave up his morals. Ironically, it had made him one of the best lawyers around. People had always respected him, trusted him, and relied on him. Her father had believed in justice, doing what was right and accepting the consequences.

"_You can cheat, you can lie, you can withhold truth, and you might just get away with it, but all they are… are cowards, wanting more to do the easy thing than the right thing. What kind of a life is that? I pity those people, because in the end… it doesn't even make them happy."_

Her father had said it often, but she'd never really thought about it until now. What would he think of her now? He'd probably be ashamed, she'd turned into the very think he hated… a liar, a coward. Elizabeth sat up in bed, making Will open his eyes.

"Elizabeth?"

"I have to tell him," she whispered, turning to look down at him. "I'm done running away from it, Will."

Will stared at her. "You sure?" he asked, knowing what she was talking about despite the fact that he'd just woken up.

"I'm sure."

Will nodded, getting up and out of bed. "Good… I'm proud of you, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth crawled out of bed herself, closing her eyes as Will kissed her forehead, smiling down at her. "You were right, Will, I just didn't want to see it."

Will forced her to look at him, staring into her eyes. "You saw it, you just weren't ready. Do you want to talk to him just the two of you?"

"That would probably be for the best…."

"You're wish is my command," he assured her, walking away to grab his robe.

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

Elizabeth walked over to him, giving him a short kiss. "Thanks… for last night."

"Anytime, now, shall we share the shower to conserve energy?" he asked.

Elizabeth punched his arm, glaring at him.

"Ouch! I was kidding!"

* * *

Emily ran from the waves as they splashed toward her, laughing all the way. "Come on Meika, let's go swimming!" she shouted as her friend watched, sitting in the sand.

"Emily, we just STOPPED swimming." The young girl looked up at her older brother, Jinto. "Can we go explore the caves?"

"Go ahead, but be careful."

"Yeah! Of course!" Meika smiled, running over to Emily. "Let's explore some of the caves! Jinto saw a bat in there a couple of weeks ago, maybe we'll see one too."

Emily frowned. "I don't know, Meika…."

"It'll be fun!"

Meika grabbed Emily's hand, pulling her forward and away from the water, making Emily's frown deepen. Will had always called her a water baby, mostly because she'd live in the water in a second if she could. "Can we go back to the water later?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, water later, caves now!"

Emily rolled her eyes, but followed her best friend toward the caves.

* * *

Elizabeth hadn't been surprised when she found him standing on the balcony. It was a beautiful day. Doctor Weir took a breath before walking slowly toward him, stepping onto the balcony, the door closing behind her.

* * *

"Wow! Look at that! He looks kinda cute," Meika pointed out, staring at the strange turtle-like creature. Emily smiled, walking closer to it.

"Think it's friendly?" she asked, staring at it for a second before looking up at her friend. "Come on; let's find that bat of yours!"

* * *

"John?"

John let out a heavy sigh. "What do you want?"

"I'm… I'm sorry, for last night. You were just pushing so hard, and I just had to get out of there… I… I wasn't ready to talk about it and you wouldn't let it drop."

"Can you blame me?" John asked, walking up to her, obviously frustrated. "You know, sometimes Elizabeth I just can't figure you out. One minute I think that things between us might just go back to the way they were, and the next you just show me how seriously screwed up this situation is!"

Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair, looking away. "Things will never be back to the way things were, John."

"Why not? We were friends once, weren't we? Why can't we get that back?"

"Because it can never _be_ back!" she began, looking into his eyes, mustering everything she had. That night… you and I crossed a line… we can't change that."

"Why not? Elizabeth, do you really think this is easy for me?! I spent six damn years being forced to serve, beaten when I made a mistake, watching my back every damn second of the day! Sometimes they treated us like animals! And now here I am, and everything is different. It doesn't seem that way, but I can see it in everyone's eyes. They moved on long ago. I mean sure, they were happy to see me and Teyla, but it wasn't going to be the same. We'd already missed so much! How do you think we feel?! It doesn't even feel like home anymore! Nothing does! All I needed was a friend and you couldn't even be that!"

* * *

It was Emily who first saw it. The winged creature rested on the ceiling at the mouth of the rocky cave. The entrance was so small even the two six year olds had to duck down a bit. He was black, with a red stripe on his forehead, smaller ones of its species were in the same position nearby. "She's a mother," Emily noticed, taking cautious steps forward.

"She's beautiful," Meika noted, smiling, reaching out for the bat, wanting to pet it. Emily stopped her, hand still poised in the air.

"No, you might scare her off. Why don't we check out the little ones, they'd be easier to catch and they might not alert the others." Emily reached up to one of the younger bats, grabbing him before he could get away. "I got him!" Just then the others awoke, flying from the ceiling and surrounding the two until they couldn't see a thing. Meika gasped when she heard Emily cry out in pain. Just as the bats cleared she saw her friend holding onto her hand, a large bite mark on her skin.

"Oh my god, Emily! You're bleeding bad! We gotta get you back to the village!"

Emily winced, covering her wound with the other hand. "It burns…."

"Let's go! Jinto will take us back."

Emily nodded, heading back out of the cave with Meika as quickly as possible.

* * *

She'd been surprised by his outburst to say the least, although she had a feeling she shouldn't have been. The moment she'd seen him, all she could think about was the things that had gone wrong, the bad nightmares that kept her up some nights, the memories that wouldn't die. She never just thought about the nightmares John must live with, the memories that wouldn't let _him_ sleep. Finally she found her voice, holding fast to her resolve. "I know it's been hard, but you need to understand… there were things I needed to work through, figure out. I'd finally let you go, and just as I did, there you were. Just as I'd finally lost hope of ever finding you two… I walked into that house and saw your face… and I just… I didn't know how to handle it all. By now I thought you were dead! When you came back… I knew there were things you deserved to know, things that I was so scared to tell you… because it would mean telling you everything that for six years I've been trying to forget. You needed me the moment you came back; I needed you the moment you left my room that morning… I just didn't know it."

"Elizabeth-"

"You're with Teyla, and I know you two are happy, and the truth is I'm happy with Will. He's a good guy, and he cares for me… and for Emily. There was so much I was scared to face. I knew what I'd have to say would change everything and I wasn't sure I was ready for that… I was too scared. I've been a coward, John. Last night you asked me what I was so afraid of… the truth is I'm afraid of reliving it again. I'm afraid of digging out a grave I've been trying to bury for years. I've kept secrets from you, and I know you deserve better than that. That's why I'm here."

"What are you saying, Elizabeth?" he asked, confused.

* * *

Emily was sweating, it was getting harder and harder to breathe and she wasn't sure she could go much further. Finally she fell to her knees, her head bowed down to stop the spinning. "I can't… go… any… further."

Meika stopped running, turning back to see her friend was no longer with her. "Emily?" she called running back.

Emily looked up at Meika. "Go get Jinto," she told her firmly before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she passed out on the hot beach sand.

"Emily!"

* * *

It was the moment of truth; Elizabeth looked down, biting her lip as she tried to calm her heart, by now she was sure he could hear it. She just needed to say it! That's all she needed to do! She just needed to tell him and face whatever came her way! She knew she'd have friends to support her; it wouldn't be the end of the world. It was time to face her past… and her nightmares. She had to tell him. "John… what I'm trying to say is… that night… you… we… god damn it! John… Emily is-"

"Doctor Weir!"

Elizabeth cursed under her breath, turning to see one of the gate technicians run out to the balcony, a deeply troubled look on his face. "What Garrett? What's wrong?"

He hesitated then, sighing hard. "We just got a call in from the mainland. They're asking for you to head there immediately. Apparently there's been an accident involving your daughter! She's been bitten by some animal and it's making her very ill."

"Oh my god! Inform Doctor Beckett and tell him to meet me at puddle jumper one, now!"

Elizabeth ran inside from the balcony, Sheppard right behind her as she headed for the puddle jumper bay. "I'm coming with you!" he announced.

* * *

Jinto looked up at his father from his position beside Emily Weir, gently patting her sweat-soaked face with a wash cloth. "Were you able to contact Atlantis?"

"Yes, Doctor Weir should be here soon. How is she?"

"She won't stop shivering, but her temperature is going down, though I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. She does not look well. I cannot awaken her and her hand is beginning to swell. Doctor Beckett must get here fast; I fear something is very wrong."

Halling nodded, moving his hand down to rest on the child's forehead. "Until they get here we shall do everything that is in our power to keep her warm and well taken care of. Go get some more blankets."

"Yes father!"

Jinto rushed to his feet, looking back at Emily, worried for her fate. He knew as well as anyone that if Elizabeth Weir lost her daughter, she would be lost as well. Elizabeth had already lost too much…. Emily had to be okay… she just had to….

To Be Continued….

A/N: Don't kill me please! I know it was an evil cliffy, but it had to be done! You know how much I love those things! I'd actually come up with this idea about a week ago, and some people guessed it in seconds, mostly anyway. Good going guys! You know who you are! But after this I guarantee nothing:evil smile: Review please!


	10. Chapter 10

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Well, we're getting closer and closer to the end here guys, but in the meantime, you know you guys love me! Review, especially considering I wrote this especially so you guys could get a little break after how much I've been torturing you all! ;)**

* * *

Chapter Ten

It had felt like forever when they finally reached the mainland, rushing to Halling's home to treat Emily Weir. Carson had immediately gone to check on Emily, taking her temperature and everything else. "She's ice cold," Carson noted with a frown.

"She was shivering for quite a while, but she just stopped. We've tried everything to keep her warm… nothing seemed to work," Jinto told the Doctor, standing by his side.

"Has she woken up since she collapsed?" Elizabeth asked her voice shakier than John had ever heard it.

Jinto looked up at her. "She's been falling in and out of consciousness. We've barely gotten a word in before she's passed out again, though."

"What about the animal that bit her?" Sheppard asked, folding his arms.

This time it was Halling that answered. "We have search parties that volunteered to look for the creature my daughter described."

"I need to take some blood, analyze her blood work and see if any kind of poison has been injected into her system. Seconds are going to count, we need to take her back to Atlantis… now," Carson said, checking her pulse again. "Her pulse is weak and getting weaker by the second."

John nodded, gathering the young child into his arms gently. "Then let's get going," he spoke without determination. Elizabeth stood by his side to stay as close to Emily as possible. Carson nodded, hurrying ahead with Sheppard behind him.

"Is she going to be alright?" Jinto asked, following next to Carson while his father stayed behind.

"I don't know lad, but I swear I'll do everything in my power to help her," the Scottish Doctor told him.

Jinto stopped, watching them go on ahead, nodding his understanding.

Barely paying attention to anything around him except his goal to get to the jumper, John looked down at Emily, stepping into the ship. "Come on kiddo, stay with us," he whisper to her, holding her just a little tighter before setting her down on the bench in the back. Elizabeth sat down beside Emily, raising her daughters head so it could be propped up on her mother's lap. John stood for a second, making sure they were ready before he jumped into the pilot's seat, Carson sitting in the chair beside them as they hurried off.

* * *

"What's taking them so long!" Will said once more, pacing the jumper bay as he waited for news. They'd left only twenty minutes ago and he was starting to worry. What if they didn't get there in time? What if Emily was already gone? What if he'd never see the child who'd brought such color to his life… to everyone's life? Emily was important to Atlantis. All who'd watched her grow from the little baby she'd been, to the already intelligent and unique little girl she now was had come to love her. It was hard not too… if Emily were to die… he didn't want to even think of what it would do to everyone… to him, and to Elizabeth.

"I am sure young Emily will be fine," Teyla assured him.

"She's a tough kid… been through plenty since she was born. She'll pull through," Ronan said next, although it seemed even he barely believed it. That wasn't a good sign.

Will cursed under his breath, looking back at the two before him. "This is a damned nightmare," he muttered, rubbing his face.

* * *

"Mom?" came the weak groan from Emily as she slowly opened her eyes. Carson was quick to his feet, running over beside the young girl.

"I'm here sweetie! I'm right here! You'll be back on Atlantis soon; Carson's going to take good care of you."

"Aye, just as I always do," he added, stroking her cheek. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Cold… pain…" Emily tried to get out, coughing hard. "Sore all over… head hurts…" she added, closing her eyes.

"Chills, headache, aches… sounds similar to the flu," Carson spoke, looking up at Elizabeth.

"Could the animal's venom really act this quickly?"

"It was injected straight into her blood stream… what worries me is the symptoms. This isn't usual for a simple venom bite… as soon as I take a look at her blood work I should have an answer. In the meantime I'll get a blanket to help keep her warm."

Elizabeth nodded, watching as the Doctor laid a blanket from the back over Emily as she slowly fell back into unconsciousness. She didn't bother to wipe the tears from her eyes, focusing everything on the child lying in her arms. She couldn't lose her… she just couldn't.

* * *

"I'm fine you know… I mean, yeah it sucked seein' the kid like that, but I mean, I only met her days ago. You don't get attached to a person that quick," he spoke allowed, standing around in the quarters he and Teyla shared.

Teyla frowned, sitting on the bed as she watched him. "It is never easy to watch an innocent child suffer, especially when it affects those you care about."

"For all we know, she'll be perfectly fine! I mean, she could be beating someone at cards right now… she'll recover. Carson's a miracle worker anyway… so even if she doesn't get better on her own, he'll figure something out. He always does. It'll be fine."

Teyla watched, obviously aware that he wasn't as fine as he tried to be. "It's okay to be upset… you may not have known Emily well, but while you and I were in the infirmary she did seem to gravitate toward you," the Athosian noted, slowly standing up to stand behind him.

John looked away. "I'm fine, Teyla…."

"I'm sure you are… I'm just saying… it's okay NOT to be fine too."

"She called me her uncle… who after knowing a person for a couple of days at most considers you family? So she was told stories about me… she'd only met me a few days ago! Days, Teyla! Days, and yet… somehow… that was enough."

"Many of the children of my people came to look up to you, John. To Jinto you were a hero, he wished to be just like you when he was to grow up. Many of them did."

"She was different, Teyla… I don't know how… it just, felt different. When we came back here… it didn't feel like home anymore. Everyone was so different, everything was so different. She made it feel like home again. She made me feel like I… belonged here, like I still belonged here even after we'd been gone for so long."

Teyla rested her forehead against his shoulder, closing her eyes.

"I can't even imagine what Elizabeth must be going through… not even knowing for sure if your own child is gonna be okay. How do you deal with something like that? Emily's a good kid; she shouldn't be lying on an infirmary bed right now probably fighting for her life."

"In life, it is not always what should happen, that does happen."

Sheppard ran a hand through his hair, turning around to face Teyla, kissing her forehead. "It's been a long day… maybe you should turn in early… we have six years to make up for."

Teyla smiled at that, grabbing hold of his hand. "And what about you?"

"I think I'm just gonna stay up, wait for news about Emily. I doubt I could sleep anyway after everything…."

Teyla hesitated, but upon seeing the look in his eyes, she knew it was best to leave it for now. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah… don't worry, I'll be fine…."

Teyla gave a small nod before pulling back the covers and falling into the bed, closing her eyes to sleep.

John took a seat nearby, watching her fall into a slumber before his patience grew too thin and he grabbed his jacket and ran out the door, assured that Teyla was asleep. He needed to check on Elizabeth and Emily.

* * *

"This can't be right," Beckett whispered, staring at the test results from the blood he'd collected from Emily.

"What?" McKay asked, turning to look at him.

"These results. The venom is behaving more like the flu than like anything we'd see on Earth. It behaves more like a virus… as we speak it's breaking down her immune system, shutting it down the way you'd shut off a computer. The reason why she doesn't have a fever is because her body can't fight this virus. At first she had a fever, when it first entered her system, but it seems after a certain amount of time… less than an hour, the virus completely takes over, attacking her immune system. It we can't figure out a way to stop this… there's no way in hell that Emily has a chance to beat this thing."

Rodney jumped out of his chair, looking at the test results for himself. "We gotta do something! There has to be something we can use to stop this thing."

"I think our best bet is for the Athosians to find this animal… if they don't, I'll never be able to properly examine this venom."

McKay frowned, looking over at Carson. "Then we need to send anyone and everyone that could help find the creature that bit Emily. I'll speak with Lorne about sending some military willing to go hunting."

"These scans are going to take me all bloody night to go over properly… maybe you should go, get some rest and return in the morning."

"Emily's lying on what could be her death bed, Carson… I'm not going anywhere. This city is filled with Earth's greatest scientists, and I for one believe that that resource should be used to the max until we've found a cure."

Carson smiled at that, patting his shoulder. "We'll figure out something, Rodney. I know you care about what happens to Emily. All of us love the little monster… we'll find a way."

McKay just gave a forced smile in return, looking away. "Yeah…."

* * *

He stood awkwardly at the door at first, watching Elizabeth sitting beside her daughter, holding Emily's hand, a dark look in her eyes. He'd seen the same look on the flight back to Atlantis. She looked… lost. She'd obviously seen some things, been through things while he'd been gone, but he worried what would happen… would this be the thing to send her over the edge? He'd watched it happen before… that certain look in their eyes that said if they lost that family member, that husband, that wife… that they would die right along with them. He didn't want to see the fire in Elizabeth's eyes die; he didn't want to see her break.

John sighed, walking toward the bed slowly, watching Elizabeth's attention turn from Emily to him. "Where's Will?" he asked.

"He's in the back working with Carson and Rodney. Back on Earth Will used to live in Australia, his father worked with mostly poisonous snakes… Carson and Rodney figured they could use all the help they could get. He's almost an expert," she told him.

Somehow John wasn't really surprised… in everyway it had seemed that Will Parker was the perfect guy. Everyone on the damn city loved him. He had gifts… he was obviously a genius, spoke more languages than John could count while _he_ still worked on mastering English... and that's the language he grew up with! "Expert you say?"

"His father worked closely with quite a few animals, and he knew his son was very interested in becoming an Archeologist. Learning about poisonous animals is practically a must if you want to choose a career where you'll be around those animals on almost a daily basis. Caves, desserts, forests… you have to know what's out there to have the kind of job he was looking for."

It made sense he supposed. John walked around the bed and took a seat next to Elizabeth, looking down at Emily.

"Will thought you'd come," she finally said, looking over at him. "It was the only reason why he was willing to leave me to help Carson and McKay."

Apparently he was psychic too. Oh joy, the man really was perfect. "Why would he think that?"

"I guess he figured you'd want to check on Emily… he knew you were pretty fond of her."

John shrugged. "She's a good kid; it's hard not being fond of her."

Elizabeth looked back at her daughter, her eyes watering at the state her daughter was in. She'd been trying so hard to be strong… she didn't want her daughter to wake up and see her crying, but she couldn't help it, John understood. Slowly, he took a chance and raised his arm up and around her, pulling her to him as her head rested on his shoulder and the tears slid down her face.

"They'll figure it out… Emily's a tough kid."

"This damn venom is behaving more like a virus than anything else… it's shutting down her immune system… once that happens…" Elizabeth couldn't finish, closing her eyes.

"Hey, don't think like that, don't you dare. It won't come to that. Emily will make it, she has to."

When she looked into his eyes he knew something was very wrong. "I'm sorry," she finally said, more tears spilling down her face. "I'm so sorry, John."

"Sorry for what?"

"It wasn't fair… me keeping the truth from you. God, I've been such a coward. I couldn't even face my own past! I just came up with excuse after excuse… you didn't deserve that. You don't even know! How could I have been so selfish?" Elizabeth paused for a second before moving from his arms, standing up and walking away a bit, turned away from him. "I don't deserve your comfort, John… not after how I've behaved."

John stood, more confused now than ever, walking toward her, staring at her back. "Elizabeth, what's wrong? What haven't you told me?"

Finally Elizabeth turned to face him, staring into his eyes. "Remember that night? The night before you left for that planet... the one that enslaved you?"

John looked away for a second, his mind floating to the night they'd made love. He still wasn't sure what had come over him… all he'd known was that he loved her… it was all that had mattered. "Yeah, of course I remember, hard not to… but what does that have to do with anything?"

Elizabeth paused, glancing past him at Emily. "I uh… I was on the pill at the time, it shouldn't have happened. The chances of it happening were so completely rare… I guess I should have expected that once again I'd find a way to do the impossible. Weeks after you went missing I started to notice something was wrong. I couldn't keep anything down, I felt tired all the time. It got worse and worse as time went by... dizzy spells... the works, but me being as stubborn as I am… I just _had_ to ignore it… that is until I realized what it could be by the next month. A many months later… I had twins. Emily and Jonathan." Elizabeth stopped there, staring at him, waiting for his reaction.

As he realized what she was saying, he could feel his heart stop. Suddenly he felt numb all over, his eyes wide as he stared at her, unable to speak, or even move. It was like a connection between his brain and everything else had been cut and he couldn't gain control. "Twins?" Emily was a twin? He was a father? That night… they'd made twins? He wasn't sure his mind could process it all, almost frozen itself with a shock that give anyone older a heart attack. "I'm a… a… father?"

Elizabeth walked past him, standing beside Emily, tears practically dripping down her face. Suddenly he heard the sob, and got enough control to turn around.

* * *

_Elizabeth stared down at her child, imprisoned in the plastic box, only surviving through life-support. "How long," she'd asked, trying to keep control. _

"_A year at most…not much longer than that. It's amazing enough he wasn't stillborn. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. We're trying to get a hold with the Tok'ra… or at least the Asguard… but with the war against the Ori being what it is… the chances of finding someone to heal him…." He didn't say anymore, he really didn't have to. "Emily is doing just fine, she's healthy, Elizabeth…. Somehow she developed to completion… I'm still unsure as to why Jonathan didn't. It could be related to the fact that you were on the pill so long after they were conceived, but then again… we may never know. Elizabeth… his organs haven't developed enough to sustain him. As it is we're doing most of the work."_

_Elizabeth nodded, still staring down at her child while he slept. "He looks just like, John," she finally whispered as one single tear fell down her face._

* * *

He didn't know what to say… couldn't even imagine what that must have done to her… watching her son slowly die. The thought almost made him happy he'd been enslaved… something he'd never thought he'd feel. John could feel his whole body weaken, as if it could give out at any second. He fought it as hard as he could, walking toward her, staring down at Emily… his daughter. At that moment he did something he hadn't done in a long time… Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard actually cried.

"I'm sorry… I… I have to go…" he said, backing away, too overwhelmed. He couldn't take all this at once… not now. He just couldn't do it. He'd had kids... one still alive, barely now thanks to that god damn animal. His senses were on overload, a weight was slowly forming on his chest, making it hard to breathe. He had to get out, he just needed out. "S... sorry," he whispered, leaving the room finally. His eyes closed as he turned around, hearing the soft sob from inside the room just before the doors closed.

* * *

When he finally reached his quarters after a three hour run to work through the still lingering shock of learning he was a father, he quickly stripped and headed for the shower, keeping it as hot as he could take. Although he sure as hell wasn't happy with Elizabeth, he understood why it'd taken so long for her to tell him about Emily… and Jonathan. John had a feeling he probably wouldn't have done much better. Still, if he'd known… he would have spent every waking moment with Emily… and with Elizabeth. He would have been asking every single question he could think of about what Emily had been like when she was a baby. He would have spent more time getting his ass beat in cards by the child that he now knew to be his. He would have asked for pictures of his kids, of Emily growing up. More tears gathered and John had to close his eyes to stop any of them from escaping.

It was screwed up… big time. In one moment, everything in his life that had made sense was erased… his whole world… which had already been turned upside down three times at last count, was twisted up once more. Suddenly he had more questions than answers. Suddenly what had once been easy was more complicated than what actually had been complicated. His life suddenly made 'War and Peace' look like a god damn Doctor Seuss book!

As soon as he'd cleaned the sweat and grime from the day off, he dried himself and pulled on his boxers and a regular white shirt… then headed for bed, growing more and more tired by the minute. Things were always easier to figure out after a good night's rest. John slid next to Teyla in bed, resting his head to the side so he could look at her. God, he hadn't even thought about how Teyla would react to all this. This was a god damn nightmare. He tried to close his eyes, clear his worries from his mind, but somehow the plan didn't seem to be working out as well as he'd hoped… figures. His plans never did work out the way he'd want… most of the time anyway.

Sheppard tossed and turned, trying to keep his eyes closed while working hard to silence his mind still coming up with questions he'd never be able to answer. He was starting to wonder whether death really was more unfair than life. "Life sucks and then you die," he whispered, sighing as he realized sleep wouldn't be coming tonight. He needed answers. He never should have just left Elizabeth like that… especially when his daughter was still struggling to survive while a virus breaks down her immune system. No wonder she'd hesitated to tell him, it had only been a few hours and he was already messing up. John took one last glance at Teyla, moving a stray hair behind her ear. Finally he got back out of bed, pulled on some jeans and lelf his quarters for the second time that night. His place wasn't there… his place was beside his daughter… for six years Emily had been raised without a father, he wasn't about to let it be seven.

To Be Continued….

A/N: I know it's kinda sad how poor Elizabeth lost a kid, but it was my plan to explain why this whole thing was bothering her so much, making her so upset. I did warn you this thing would be angsty… screwed up and angsty! lol Please review… and you might just get a happy ending… might! Bwhahahahahahaha… okay, now that I'll admit was way too mean. Love you guys:D


	11. Chapter 11

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Just a few more chapters to go! In the meantime, enjoy the angst and insanity…. :D Review!**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

Elizabeth stared down at her daughter, stroking her cheek. He tried hard to keep in control, to ignore the pain in her heart at seeing Emily this way. It was hard, harder than she could have every imagined. It had almost killed her when Jonathan died, this beautiful little child she'd created… gone before he ever really got the chance at life. So many days she's stayed up at night, thinking of what he could have been, of what it would be like if he'd survived. Sometimes she could almost see him playing with Emily… in her dreams she'd see him all grown up, at graduation, at his wedding. So many things he could have done… could have been, but the moment he'd died those chances had been reduced to fantasy. She didn't want to go through it again.

When Jonathan had died, it had brought her to places she'd never thought she'd be. She'd been in a dark place for a long time, so many hopes dashed to nothingness in a single moment. Sometimes she wouldn't even get up in the morning. She'd felt horrible when she realized what she was doing to herself, and to Emily… thanks to Will.

* * *

"_You just don't get it, do you Elizabeth?! What?! You think this all is just about you? You have a daughter! Jonathan may have died, but that doesn't give you the right to be a bad parent to the one you have left!" Will had shouted._

_She'd slapped him before she even knew what she was doing, seeing the red imprint of her hand against his cheek. "You have no clue what its like, Will! You think because you've known me a year, that it gives you a right to say what you just did?! You don't know anything!"_

_Will took a step closer, his eyes darker than she'd seen before. "You think I don't get it?! I may not be a parent, but I've been around death more than you could ever imagine! My friends, my family… I've lost than you could ever know! I know what it's like to wake up in the morning and wonder why you should even bother! I remember what it was like to feel like you've lost a part of yourself that you'll never get back! I've been there! Emily needs you Elizabeth! I don't need to know a thing about you to know that! I know it's hard, but you don't have to face the pain alone! Whether you realize it or not you've got a family right here, willing to do whatever they can to get you through this! You don't have to do it alone… just let us help!"_

_She hadn't known what to say, too shocked by his words to reply. Then suddenly she was in his arms, him holding her tightly as tears fell down her face… she hadn't wanted to let go._

"_I'm here, Elizabeth… you're going to get through this… that's a promise."_

* * *

She had gotten through it. Over the years it became easier and easier to smile, to laugh, to live her life again. It hadn't been easy, but she'd had plenty willing to help. Once a week she'd go to see Doctor Heightmeyer, it helped to talk, although she'd never been able to speak of John being the father… she'd barely been able to speak about Jonathan. At least she hadn't been alone.

It had taken years before she could wake up in the morning and not push herself to get out of bed… she didn't want to go back to that place again. Emily had been the main reason why Elizabeth hadn't succumbed to insanity. She didn't want to do it all again. She couldn't lose the only child she had left… she just couldn't.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth pulled her eyes away from Emily, surprised to see John standing at the door. "John?"

John walked into the room, slowly moving toward her and Emily. "I'm uh… sorry about before. I shouldn't have left you like that. I shouldn't have left you alone. It's just that… with everything you told me… it felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach… hard."

"It's okay, John. I know it was a lot to soak in at once… I just couldn't wait any longer. You deserved to know the truth." Elizabeth hesitated for a second, a worried look crossing her features. "Are you mad?"

John sighed at that, shaking his head. "No, I'm not mad… would have been nice to know it earlier… but I'm not mad. It must have been hard… thinking about him… Jonathan. Telling me all that."

Elizabeth looked away, looking back at Emily. "When I lost him… it felt like I was losing myself too. Emily was why I kept going…."

"She's gonna make it, Elizabeth… she's a Sheppard," he told her, an almost proud smile appearing on his face as he looked down at his daughter. "Us Sheppards may get knocked around a bit, but we always find a way to survive."

"She's just like you, you know… always has been. I never really got how that'd be possible considering she's never even met you until a few days ago. I guess she really is a Sheppard."

John walked over to Elizabeth, taking a seat beside her, his eyes still on Emily. "She's wiser than I ever was at her age… didn't take me long to figure that one out… she's got a lot of you in her too."

"I guess so… I swear she's such an old soul… one minute you're talking to a six year old… the next it's like she's thirty- six."

John laughed at that, then turned to look at Elizabeth. It took a minute before she finally turned to look back at him, their eyes catching. "Tell me more… tell me more about Emily."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything."

* * *

Will sighed, walking out of the room, more tired than he'd been in a very long while. Nothing… so many hours devoted to figuring this virus out and he was coming out with nothing. He was becoming more and more frustrated by every minute, acutely aware that Emily's life was on his, Beckett's, and Rodney's shoulders. When he finally turned the corner he was surprised to hear Elizabeth's voice, as he peaked into the room he could see John sitting beside her, completely wrapped in what she was telling him.

"… so the next thing I know Will's got search teams looking through the city just to find this damn stuffed dog because Emily wouldn't stop crying!"

Sheppard smiled, shaking his head. "Did they ever find it?"

Elizabeth sighed, looking down. "Emily found it… it was under her bed."

John raised an eyebrow at that. "You gotta be kidding!"

"Nope… apparently she kicked in under there in her sleep… Will almost had a stroke!"

"I guess so!"

Elizabeth looked down, her features slowly darkened as she looked over at Emily. "He was so mad… after all that just to find it under her bed… he wanted to pull his hair out. Then Emily kissed his cheek, said thank you and it was as if she'd just told him he'd won a million bucks. She always did have him wrapped around her finger."

Sheppard frowned, staring at her. "I guess he was more of a father to her than anyone."

Elizabeth turned to look at him. "He loves her as if she were his… knew what to do better than even I did at first. Emily loves him too… probably always will. In some ways… I think he was there mostly to fill a void. He lost his mother when he was young… I guess he just wanted to make things easier for her. It was like we were a family… a twisted and confusing family… but still a family."

John nodded. "In some ways… in most ways, I think I'm jealous of him."

"Why?"

"He got to be there for Emily for all the years I was gone… got to see her walk for the first time, got to hear her first word… it kinda sucks that I'll never be able to have that, ya know? Emily will probably always see him as more of a father to her than me."

Elizabeth shook her head. "You'd only met each other a few days ago and you'd already created a bond. I've seen the way she's looked at you… I have no idea how it's possible, but it's like… it's almost like she knows. Emily isn't known as a person who… connects with people easily. I've never seen her become so attached to someone after only knowing them a few days. Just be patient with her… be there for her and I think you'll be surprised at what happens."

Will gave a small smile, choosing to let them have their time, he could check on Emily later. Right now, he had a feeling they needed this moment in time… needed to reconnect. She'd told him… she'd finally told him. In some ways it was saddening as he realized his relationship with Emily would soon change with John now in her life, but in the long run he knew it was for the best, even if it was hard to watch. Since the moment he'd realized John was alive, he'd done his best to do the right thing, to be the voice of reason even though every bone in his body had told him otherwise. It wasn't easy to watch, especially when the woman he loved had made a child with someone else. Still, Emily deserved a father; it was as simple as that. No matter how selfish he may want to be, he couldn't let that happen. H refused to ruin something that would be of great benefit not only to Emily, but to Elizabeth as well. It hurt to watch, but in the long run it didn't matter how it affected him. This was the right thing to do; he couldn't stand in the way of that. Will sighed, running a hand through his hair. Life really _was_ a bitch sometimes….

* * *

It was almost morning when she finally opened her eyes, moaning at the pain in her neck as she sat up in the chair, stretching to get any kinks out. It was then that she noticed John; his arms were folded on Emily's bed, his eyes not even leaving his daughter for a second. "Morning," he greeted.

"Hey… sleep well?"

"Didn't sleep at all actually… kinda hard, everytime I closed my eyes I just… I kept expecting to miss something… the kid's been unconscious all night and here I am unable to look anywhere else… too scared she'll suddenly come out of it and I'll miss being able to talk to her. Pretty sad, huh?"

"No… I don't think it's sad at all," she told him, looking at Emily.

"That night… the night before I was enslaved… did you regret it when you realized you were pregnant?"

Elizabeth hesitated, knowing the truth, yet not sure she wanted to admit it. "Not for a second… I was scared, scared to do it alone, scared that what was growing inside me… that I would never be able to take care of it, but I never regretted what we'd created together. Having Emily is the best thing that's ever happened to me… even if it brought a lot of pain along the way."

"Good… cause I don't regret it either," he said before turning to look at her, an intense look on his face. "Never did."

Elizabeth looked over at him, staring into his eyes. She'd seen the look in his eyes before, a long, long time ago, had seen it on a number of occasions. The first had been while she was standing in front of the Stargate, being dragged by Koyla towards it. When she'd looked into his eyes, she'd felt the cold shiver run up her spine… he'd looked ready to kill. All she could do was watch as he slowly pulled the trigger, shooting Koyla as she fell to the ground. The look he'd had on his face had almost terrified her more than the idea of what would have happened if he hadn't stopped Koyla from pulling her off Atlantis. Doctor Weir quickly looked away. She cared about Sheppard, always would, but she also knew she could never betray Will… or Teyla. They both had other responsibilities, although tied together by Emily, there were certain lines between them that should remain uncrossed.

John seemed to understand as he soon looked away himself, diverting his eyes back to Emily's sleeping form. "You think she'll wake up anytime soon?"

"I don't know, Carson says she needs all the rest she can get, I suppose it's better if she sleeps through this."

"Yeah… guess so. Maybe I should go…. I'm sure Teyla's wondering where I am right about now."

"I think that's probably a good idea," she said, seeing the disappointment on his face.

"Right… let me know if anything happens…." John slowly got to his feet; looking back at her with a saddened expression she knew she was the cause of. Finally he walked away and out the door, pausing to look back at her. "We're going to figure this out… aren't we?"

She knew he was talking about Emily. She didn't even know John was her father, not to mention there was the fact that she very well couldn't keep Emily from him. Emily need to spend time with him, get to know him… she had a Dad now… and John obviously wanted to be a big part of her life. "We'll figure out something… I promise," she said, giving him a soft smile.

John nodded, smiling back at her before he turned around and walked away.

* * *

She was a beautiful, brilliant, insightful woman. She'd gotten him through some of the hardest moments of his life, but he knew in some ways no matter how close they were, his heart would always lie with the mother of his child. It was kinda depressing to realize no matter how hard he could fall for someone else, he'd never be able to escape Elizabeth Weir… he'd never be rid of her. It was frustrating. He felt like he was betraying Teyla every time he even looked at Elizabeth and felt his heart skip a beat. Through Emily into the mix and he knew it would only get worse. Teyla didn't even know what he himself had just found out. Damn, this was so much simpler in movies… too bad he lived in the real world…. "Teyla," he whispered as he took a seat beside her on the bed, stroking her cheek softly as her eyes began to open. "Honey… we need to talk."

* * *

"Carson! Get in here now! She's flatlined!"

"What the hell?! The virus couldn't have worked that quickly!"

"Her pulse was weakening, it must have been actively attacking her heart, I've never seen anything like this before!" Will told him.

Carson rushed past him as the nurse who'd been with him grabbed the defibrillator. "It must have already shut down her immune system!" Carson quickly began cutting through Emily's shirt as Nurse Kenway rubbed the gel onto the paddles. Will stood in the back, holding Elizabeth to him as she watched, terror written all over her face.

"Clear!" he shouted just as soon as the paddles were in his hand, then gently placed them on Emily's chest. The never ending ring signaling Emily's lack of a heartbeat rang through his ears as he pulled the paddles off, watching Emily jump up off the bed for a second at the shock. Nothing. The nurse pumps the airbag, providing air to Emily's lungs in between. Once the defibrillator is charged again Carson gives a nod at the nurse. "Clear!" he shouts once more, praying it'll work as he once again places the paddles on Emily's chest, the shock rushing through her system, trying to jump start her heart once more. Still nothing. "Dammit! Come on Emily! Stay with us here!" He tries it one more time, placing the paddles in place as the jolt runs through the child's system, and she convulses before collapsing against the bed, Carson once again checks the monitor, seeing her spike in the line once more and a steady beep takes the place of the constant ring. Carson then quickly takes out his stethoscope, and sighs in relief at what he finds. "There's a pulse… and getting stronger," he announces before handing the paddles back to the nurse. Finally he looks back at Weir. "Maybe you should wait outside for a second… I'm gonna examine her real quick, see what damage this damn virus has done. Will, maybe you can take her to the mess? Get her something to eat?"

Will nodded, pulling Elizabeth along, but she fights it. "What about Emily? Is she okay?"

"For now, she's stable, but I won't know more until I examine her. Take a break Elizabeth… you can come right back just as soon as you've eaten."

Finally Elizabeth gives a sigh and begins to follow Will out of the infirmary, leaving Carson to his examination.

* * *

"Colonel Sheppard?"

Sheppard sighed, moving a hand to his radio, giving Teyla an apologetic look as he answers. "Yeah Will, what's up?"

"I think maybe you should come back to the infirmary."

"Why? What's wrong? Is Emily okay?" he asked, his heart speeding up almost immediately.

"We almost lost her, John. She flatlined. Carson was able to revive her, but now he's telling us she's in a coma. I think it would be best if you came down."

John's eyes widened at the news. Oh my god! "I'm on my way!"

To Be Continued….

A/N: Well I did say it'd be angsty!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Just a few more chapters to go! In the meantime, enjoy the angst and insanity…. :D**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

"There has to be someway that we can help her!" John almost shouted, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"There's nothing you can do, John! The Athosians are doing the best they can to find the creature… Emily is doing her best to fight for her life, I'm doing all I can to keep her alive, but right now, there is nothing any of us can do but wait. Will, Rodney, and I will continue to do what we can to help keep Emily going, and maybe we'll even be able to find something to help us solve this thing, but right now, as it stands… this is Emily's fight," Carson told him.

John leaned against the wall, trying to calm himself down. "I find out after all these years that I have a daughter, and I can't even do anything to save her… that's what your telling me here, Carson. Give me something… anything, I just can't watch idol by and let her die!"

Carson frowned, looking away. "I know you feel helpless, Colonel, you're not the only one that feels this way. We all love Emily, we'd all give up our lives if we could save her. I delivered her, helped raise her! Believe me Colonel, I understand what your feeling."

Sheppard shook his head, looking over at his daughter. "What about Elizabeth? I thought… she'd be here."

"Will took her to get something to eat, truth be told… I worried about her, even more so than I was when Jonathan passed away. Emily means everything to her, if not for that little girl I don't know what would have happened to Elizabeth…."

"She doesn't even know I'm her father," he practically whispered as he stared at Emily's sleeping form. "She doesn't even know it."

Carson followed Sheppard's gaze. "She'll pull through, I know it. Emily's strong willed… like her father… and her mother. She'll make it."

It was then that it came to him, in a flash as if a light bulb had just turned on. "You're right Carson, she will… I'm gonna make sure of it," he said, walking away towards the exit.

"Colonel?"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be on the mainland… finding that damn animal," he said just before walking out the door. At least he'd feel like he was doing something…. Like he was helping his daughter survives this damn poison. He'd find that creature, bring it to Carson so he can create an anti-venom, and make for damn sure his daughter out-lives him.

* * *

"Eat Elizabeth, she'll still be there when you get back," Will said, making Elizabeth's head go up to look at him, she could see no hesitation on his face.

"You sure about that?" she asked softly, finally scooping some of the food from her plate and putting it in her mouth.

"Positive. Carson won't let Emily die."

"She just did… that's what worries me."

"Elizabeth, Carson revived her, it's not over yet."

Elizabeth put her fork down, looking back up at him again. "What if it is?! What if it is over and no matter how hard we try… we'll never be able to save her? You say it's not over, Will, but I just watched them have to restart her heart!"

Will ran a hand through his hair, sitting back. "So you're just gonna give up on her?"

"Of course not, Will, I couldn't do that. She's my daughter, I don't care if they have to do that a hundred million times, I don't want anyone to stop trying… I'm just not sure if it'll mean anything in the end."

Will moved his hand over hers. "Elizabeth, I watched her be born. I've helped you raise her since day one, and I can tell you right now I feel like in a way… she's my daughter too. I know how hard it is to watch Emily… knowing how close we all might be to losing her. But Elizabeth, you're not alone… you know I'm here for you… anytime you need me," he told her, tightening his grip on her hand.

Elizabeth tried to smile, but just couldn't. "I don't deserve you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because since you came here you've been a better friend… and recently boyfriend than anyone I've ever met… I guess I just wish I knew what I'd done to get a guy like you," she told him, staring into his eyes.

Will got up from the table, not letting go of her hand and moved around the table, kissing her lips. "Funny, I'm usually wondering what the hell I did to get a woman like you. I keep expecting you to come to your senses and leave me," he told her, taking a seat beside her.

Elizabeth looked away, staring down at her food. "You know… I keep thinking about John… he never even really got a chance to know her… and what scares me is because of my stupid fears… he may have lost the only chance he had."

"Hey, don't say that, Elizabeth. John will get his chance to know everything and anything he wants… and maybe some stuff he doesn't want to know," he said, smiling a bit. "She'll make it and he'll get his chance."

"How can you be sure?"

"I just am." Will watched Elizabeth go back to playing with her food, and slowly his smile faded. "You still love him… don't you?"

That got her attention as she looked back at him. "What?"

"Elizabeth, I know you have feelings for me, but I see the way you look at him. You still love him."

Elizabeth sighed, not even bothering to deny it. "John… meant a lot to me when we came here to Atlantis. The moment I met him I knew he was going to be trouble, but I couldn't ignore my gut telling me he was worth it. He became my best friend, my confidant, family. Hell, once he even became my guardian angel," she said, smiling a little at the last part as she saw the confused look on Will's face. "The replicators… they'd taken over, were trying to fool my mind into giving up. John broke quarantine and held my hand, telling me to keep fighting. If not for him… I would have probably lost. He's always been there for me, always took care of me. Hell, he even brought meals to me to make sure I'd eat, knowing I never did when the paperwork started to pile up," she said, briefly lost in the past.

Will frowned, staring at her. "You make it kinda hard to compete when the other guy's a guardian angel," he muttered.

Elizabeth dropped her fork, resting her forehead against his. "Nothing you and him need to compete over, you already got me," she whispered.

Will smiled at that, but both knew it wasn't exactly genuine. "Come on… let's get back to the infirmary."

"Yeah," she agreed, getting up out of her chair.

* * *

"He did what?!"

"Elizabeth, he wanted to look out for his daughter, frankly, I'm not sure I blame him," Carson said, looking over at Emily. "He felt helpless, so he left to go make use of himself... did you really think he'd like the idea of sitting by while his daughter wasted away?"

Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. "Not really, but… dammit, what if he get's hurt?! Emily's barely hanging on! What if while he's hunting for this animal… what if he get's hurt too?"

"He's gotta do what's best for him, honey. Something tell me getting hurt isn't what John's worried about," Will cut in.

"Well I am!" Elizabeth snapped. "I'm already freaking out because of my daughter! I don't want to see him come back here in the same condition! I lost him once! I can't do that again!" Before either Carson or Will could say a word Elizabeth walked away and sat beside her daughter, resting her forehead on Emily's hand.

Will frowned, looking away. "Damn, why the hell would John leave when he's needed right here?! Elizabeth's barely dealing with this, and frankly I'm not sure how much more pressure she can handle before she finally breaks!"

"John's doing just as well dealing with this, Will! It's not easy for anyone!"

Will rolled his eyes. "I don't give a damn, you shouldn't have left."

"Will, I know the only reason your lashing out like this is because of your feelings for Emily just as the rest of us, but maybe you should stop before you say something you'll regret."

Will glared at the doctor for a moment, before turning to the wall nearby, banging his hand against the wall before he walked away, furious.

Carson closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose as his headache grew. This was only going to get worse…. The strain was starting to get to everyone, including Will. He'd been doing his best to be there for everyone else, it seemed his control had finally cracked….

* * *

Laura frowned, watching Will Parker as he walked past her, his stance tense… almost ready to attack. She'd only seen him like that a few times since he'd come to Atlantis, he didn't get there easily. Laura looked back at the infirmary, she'd come to check on Emily, but something told her perhaps there was someone else she should be checking on as she hurried to catch up with Will.

* * *

Sheppard walked down the beach, his focus so well narrowed he didn't even notice as the waves crashed against the rocks nearby the cave where the Athosians had been hunting. Jinto walked beside him, occasionally looking his way as they walked together while the others headed back to eat as their supplies were near to gone. Jinto had offered to stay to lead Sheppard in the right direction, John knew he was worried. Hell, he'd be worried to if someone he cared about was acting the way John was. John stared at the mouth of the cave as he raised his dart gun in preparation. "You sure this is where they went?"

"Yes, I'm sure. They explored this cave. It's large, bigger than anything I've ever seen. It'll take a while to explore, the others believed the animals must have moved on to a different cave as I watched the creatures fly out of the cave, but I believe they must still be here."

John gave one nod, turning on his flashlight before walking inside, Jinto right behind him, a knife ready in hand. As they walked inside they could hear the steady drip coming from deeper into the cave. The Colonel was almost drawn to it as he took steady steps deeper and deeper, his eyes sweeping the cave for movement of any kind. Suddenly Jinto jumped back in a scream as a small bat-like creature dived down from the top of the cave, just missing the young man. John reacted without thinking, shooting at it as it flew back up before taking another dive and John. He didn't even blink as he pointed his weapon at the creature, his finger pulling on the trigger over and over again as it flew closer and closer to him.

* * *

Will watched the ocean before him as he stood at Elizabeth's favorite balcony, trying to calm his breathing, struggling to get control at the rage building, breaching his defenses. "You know, I remember once when my niece was sick. She'd been such a big part of my life… the moment I thought I was going to lose that… it was one of the hardest things I ever went through."

"I should be stronger than this," Will whispered, keeping his eyes on the ocean.

"No, Will, you shouldn't. In fact, frankly, I would have cracked along time ago. I know how much you love her… but sometimes you just have to accept that you can't control everything in the dame universe."

"You talking about Elizabeth or Emily?" he asked, knowing her too well after so many years.

"Both," she said back, walking beside him, one hand rest over his as she took in a breath of fresh air. "You can't be expected to carry everything on your shoulders, Will. Sometimes you just have to be weak… and let someone else take care of you."

Will almost laughed at that. "I don't think I even remember being taken care of… even growing up… I got a cold, I made my own damn tea," he told her, shaking his head.

"Well, maybe now it's time you learn."

Will finally pulled his eyes from the dark blue ocean to settle on her. "And who's gonna teach me?"

Laura grinned, squeezing his head before running it through her hair as it blew in the wind. "Lesson one… the teacher is always right," she said in answer.

Finally Will smiled a genuine smile as he rolled his eyes. "Now that I'll never agree to!"

"Good… lesson two, never agree to something you know is gonna get you in trouble later."

"Looks like I'm doing well… what's lesson three?"

Laura let her smile fade as she stared at him. "Go back to be with your stepdaughter… knowing I'm right behind you. If you lean on your friends it doesn't have to hurt so much."

Will stared at her for what seemed like hours before looking up at the door. "You're right… I should get back to Elizabeth… she needs me."

Laura frowned at that, resting her hand on his shoulder to stop him from leaving. "Just remember she's not the only one who needs someone. Now come on… I wanna see how Emily's doing."

Will nodded in agreement, grabbing her hand in his as they walked off the balcony together. Cadmen knew there were only a few people on Atlantis Will truly trusted enough to show all his sides with… Elizabeth and she were probably the only ones he'd ever been comfortable enough with to let down his guard, something Laura was truly thankful for. Will Parker may have been infuriating at times… but he was probably one of the closest friends she had…. And if there was one thing one could say about Laura Cadmen, it was she was always loyal to her friends.

* * *

"Help! Somebody help!" Jinto screamed as he carried John Sheppard's limp body on his shoulders, the bat stuffed in a leather bag tied around his waste as he finally reached the camp.

His father rushed toward him, gently taking John off his shoulders. "What has happened?"

"He got it! He got the animal! But before it fell it bit him… he passed out before we could make it back!" Jinto told him in a rush. "We must call Atlantis so someone can come and bring him back to Atlantis. He was bitten pretty bad." Jinto revealed the bite mark on John Sheppard's neck before he untied the bag carrying the animal that had attacked John.

Halling pulled John on his shoulders, looking down at his son. "Come Jinto! We must bring him back to the house so we may treat him!"

The two ran through the crowd that had gathered in all the mayhem and ran inside their home to contact Atlantis and treat Sheppard's wound. They only hoped his sacrifice wouldn't be in vain… the animal needed to be sent back to Doctor Beckett to be examined… if he could figure out a way to create the anti-venom two lives would be saved. If not… they both knew what the end result would be, and neither were very pleased with the idea of losing a friend.

To Be Continued….

A/N: Did I mention how much I love it when people review:innocent grin: Hmmm, what shall become of poor John, he always get's himself in these situations! And poor Elizabeth! How will she react to the news? Will they be able to create an anti-venom in time? And what about Will? What shall become of him?! Answers and more to come soon enough:D


	13. Chapter 13

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Just wanna thank everyone who's reviewed!!! You guys are awesome! Now on with the story:D**

Chapter Thirteen

Carson must have paced inside his office for nearly thirty minutes before he finally walked out and towards the crowd that had gathered. Ronan, Will, Elizabeth, Laura Cadmen, Teyla, and Rodney all sat and stood beside Emily's bed, talking and trying their best to get Elizabeth's mind off of Emily. Finally he cleared his throat, earning everyone's attention. "Yes Carson?" Elizabeth said, an almost hopeful look in her eyes. It was good to see hope there, perhaps that was mostly due to the fact that everyone knew John was out their trying to save his daughter…. If John Sheppard was nothing else, he was damn good at his job.

Carson hesitated for a second. "Well, I have a bit of good news for you… and some bad news for you…" he said, his voice a little shaky.

"Maybe we should get the good news first," Laura muttered, knowing Beckett well enough to know the bad news would be bad, and it'd be good to hear something nice for a change first. Their brief interlude had been good for some things it seemed.

Beckett gave a gentle smile toward Elizabeth. "Colonel Sheppard found the creature that bit Emily. He and Jinto were able to catch it. It should be arriving from the mainland within a half an hour."

Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise, seeming not to believe what she was hearing for a moment. When the news seemed to sink in she breathed a sigh of relief, her head dropping down for a second as her eyes closed. "Oh thank god! Do you think you'll be able to create the anti venom in time?"

"Well, I can't be sure. As soon as it arrives I'll examine it and do what I can."

Everyone seemed to relax just a bit at knowing there was an even bigger chance that Emily could survive now that they had the animal that'd caused everything. "Wait, what's the bad news?" Rodney asked always the one who liked to focus his attention on the negative parts. For once Carson was not amused.

"Well, not surprisingly, while going after the creature John was injured. Before it died the bat bit John's neck. It's much worse than the bite mark inflicted on Emily. The more venom, the bigger the chance the victim may die before a treatment can be created. He's awake from what Jinto told me, obviously the venom affects adults different from children, but he does have the same symptoms, he's flying the jumper."

Elizabeth frowned, closing her eyes. "Damn it, John!" she muttered under her breath.

"Is he going to be okay?" Teyla asked, her voice filled with a shakiness none of them had ever heard before. "We survived six years of slavery don't tell me after all that he may die anyway!"

Carson shook his head. "He's a fighter just as much as Emily is. I have no doubt that we'll be able to save them both. We've found what we're looking for; let's worry about the rest once I've had time to examine it."

Teyla nodded, looking away for a second, suddenly not so relieved. Then again, none of them seemed quite as comforted….

* * *

"Alright, let's move! Get him on the bed quick!" Carson ordered as they carried John into the infirmary. 

"I'm okay… honest," John struggled to get out, obviously having trouble staying awake.

"You did well, Colonel. Will's studying the creature as we speak. Now just lay back and let me examine you," the Doctor ordered, pushing him down on the bed.

"Wha… what about Emily?"

Carson smiled. "Will thinks he can create an anti-venom in time, Colonel… you did good. Not let me do my job and take care of you. Emily needs her father."

John nodded weakly before laying back, closing his eyes, passing out just before Carson put the needle in his arm to draw blood.

* * *

_Elizabeth moaned as her sore muscles were slowly eased, turning to look at her hero. "God John, that feels so good."_

"_Glad to hear it, you've been too stressed these days."_

"_What about Emily?" she asked, letting her head roll down as he worked her knots._

"_Sound asleep in the other room. You know you really should take it easy honey; this pregnancy is taking its toll on you big time. It's not good for the baby or you the way you're always running around here."_

"_I do have a city to run, John."_

"_Yes well your husband thinks maybe it's time you let me handle that for a bit so you can relax, that is if you even know what that means anymore."_

_Elizabeth smiled. "Oh believe me; I know exactly what it means."_

_She could tell her husband was grinning from behind her as he moved his hands off her so he could kiss her neck. "I'm already ahead of ya!"_

"_**Elizabeth!" a voice shouted, making her jump.**_

* * *

Elizabeth?!" 

Elizabeth opened her eyes to see Will crouched before her. "I must have dozed off," she muttered, rubbing her eyes.

Will smiled down at her, kissing her forehead. "Elizabeth, I just thought you should know… John did it. Emily's gonna be just fine… she's gonna make it."

"And John?" she asked, more relieved than she'd ever thought she'd feel.

Will hesitated before tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "He's been given the antidote, but it may not have any effect by this point. The venom's more unpredictable than Carson and I first thought. He got a big dose, far greater than that of Emily. He slipped into a coma hours after he made it back to Atlantis."

Elizabeth was suddenly wide awake with the news. "Oh my god," she breathed, unsure of what to say.

Will sighed, looking far older than he had not but weeks before… before everything had gone wrong, before Sheppard had returned after more than six long years, before Emily had almost lost her life. "Emily woke up a couple of minutes ago; I figured you might wanna see her."

Elizabeth nodded eagerly.

* * *

"Mommy?" 

Elizabeth was almost brought to tears the moment Emily opened her eyes and said the word she'd longed to hear most. "Oh god sweet heart, don't you ever scare me like that again. You hear me?"

"Sorry, mom. I'll be more careful, and I'm never going near that stupid cave again!"

Elizabeth laughed at her daughter's frustrated look, wiping a tear that had escaped from her face. Unfortunately it wasn't the last, and before long they were falling down her face whether she wanted them to or not.

"Mommy? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine baby, just… just happy your okay. For a minute there I thought I'd lost you."

Emily frowned, resting her right hand on her mother's cheek. "It's okay mommy. Don't be sad. Uncle Carson says thanks to Uncle John I'm gonna be okay."

Elizabeth frowned then, shaking her head, knowing she needed to tell her daughter the truth, but unsure how to say it. "E… Emily… John Sheppard is not your uncle sweet heart."

"I know Mom, but neither is Carson, Ronan, or Rodney."

"No honey, you don't understand. There's something I need to tell you, Emily, something I should have told you a long time ago. It's about your father…."

Emily gently tried to sit herself up, suddenly eager to hear her mother's words. "What about my father?" When she saw her mother pause, she knew she'd have to push it. "Mom?"

* * *

Carson looked over at Will for the forth time, aware the man did not seem to be exactly in his best mood. He was tense as he stood over Sheppard, giving him another dose of the anti-venom. "Will? You alright?" 

Will almost jumped upon hearing Beckett's voice, and shook his head. "I'm fine, Carson. Just fine."

"You don't look 'just fine.' This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the fact that Elizabeth's telling Emily the truth about her father… would it?"

Will turned to look at him, a surprised expression on his face. "Are you kidding me?! I've been trying to get her to tell Emily for years! I'm just relieved she's finally doing it! Emily deserves to know the truth."

Carson frowned, turning to face his friend. "You know… Emily's always kind of seen YOU as her father. You take care of her; you've taken care of her since day one. You've been closer to Elizabeth than any of us. Whenever Elizabeth needed someone, she turned to you, and Emily has followed her mother's example. If Emily were to ever learn that her real father is back… it may in fact change the relationship you've had with Emily all her life."

"You don't think I know that Carson? I've been aware of what may happen for quite some time. I know things are gonna be different, I understand that Emily will want to focus on her relationship with John now that he's here… alive. I know things are going to change… but it doesn't matter how I feel. I want her to have her father… she deserves to have a real father."

"You WERE her real father, Will… for over six years."

Will pulled the needle from John's IV and turned to look at Carson once it was thrown away. "I can't BE her father, Carson. I can be there for her, I can help protect her… hell, I can even be there for her when she needs it, but I will never be her father. That's just not how it works."

"But you want to be… don't you," Carson said, realizing what was wrong.

Will froze, looking away, and slowly a faint smile appeared on his face. "I can't stop thinking about the day she was born… how beautiful she was… how strong she was. These light green eyes just staring up at me, holding onto my finger as if it were her lifeline. I fell in love with her the moment I looked into her eyes."

"Emily's always loved you Will. You always knew just what to do."

Will shook his head. "Not always, but it didn't matter. I'd give my life to that kid in a second… same goes for Elizabeth. Things change Carson, even if you don't want them to. People change. I can't hold onto something that doesn't want to be held onto. Sometimes the only way to move on is by letting go."

"Emily doesn't want you to move on, Will… she'll still want you to be there for her. You'll still be important to her."

"Oh really, and what makes you think that?"

"The last six and a half years makes me think that. It's okay to understand it's time to let go, just don't think that means they'll never come back… even if they don't stay. John Sheppard is her father by science; you're her father by heart."

Will turned back around to look at Carson, watching him walk away before he looked back at John. "You're a lucky bastard… you know that right?" he muttered, shaking his head, still smiling. "Take care of em… cause if you don't I'll be the first to kick your ass… and don't think I can't… the military's been good to me," he said before walking away to leave John to recover.

* * *

When his eyes finally opened he'd had no memory of his heroic rush back to Atlantis in the hopes of saving Emily, wasn't even sure where he was, but it hadn't mattered. He couldn't help but smile as he looked up to see Teyla sitting beside his bed, holding his hand. "John?" 

John moved his head up, only to feel his head resist, a painful pounding headache rushing through him, making him wince. "Where am I?"

"You're back in Atlantis," she told him, smiling in relief to see he was out of his coma.

"Emily?"

"You saved her life, John. You did well," she assured him, squeezing his hand.

"And Elizabeth? Where is she?" John asked without thinking.

Teyla's smile faded just a bit as she looked away. "She's with Emily; I believe Emily is reading her Dr. Suess. Green Eggs and Ham."

"It's a good book."

"I'm sure it is."

John smiled, staring up at her. "So when do I get out of here?"

"He finally wakes up after three years in a coma and that's the first thing you ask?" Rodney asked, walking up behind Teyla, with a cocky grin on his face.

"THREE YEARS?!" John exclaimed, unable to believe it could be true.

"Gotcha," Rodney said, his grin growing as John glared at him.

"You know you're gonna pay for that right?" John asked.

"Yup, but it was worth it."

"Ronan!" Sheppard called, only to see a figure appear before him. A second later McKay was yelping in pain, rubbing his tender spot on the back of his head. "Thank you."

"No problem," Ronan Dex said a proud smirk on his face.

"Welcome back, Colonel… now if you'll excuse me… I should probably go find Carson," McKay grumbled walking away as the others smiled at his misfortune.

"Rodney's hurt, Ronan inflicted it, and John instigated it… yup, things have certainly returned to normal," came another voice. Slowly Elizabeth emerged from behind the curtain, a welcoming smile on her face. "How are you feeling?"

John would have chuckled at her joke, but he was sure it only would have caused him pain. "Okay I guess. How's Emily?"

Elizabeth shifted suddenly looking rather awkward. "She's okay… I told her."

"Told her?" John asked, too tired to interpret her words.

"She knows you're her father. I told her a couple of days ago. She's rather anxious to see you, but Carson won't allow it for at least a few more days."

John smiled at that, lifting his head up only to feel the room spin as a wave of dizziness overcame him. Sheppard closed his eyes only for his head to fall back against the pillow, finally passing out.

Elizabeth and Teyla frowned, worried looks on their faces as she looked down at Sheppard.

"Well… we knew he might fall in and out of consciousness when he finally woke up from this coma," Ronan told them, folding his arms.

Elizabeth shook her head, walking away from the bed. "Be sure to let me know when he's awake again, Teyla… he and I have a lot to talk about."

Teyla bowed her head, smirking at John, his mouth wide open as he slept. "Of course, Doctor Weir."

To Be Continued….

A/N: Well John's out of his coma and Emily's doing great. But what about Elizabeth and John, how will they figure out what to do about Emily? And when will poor John get out of the evil infirmary?!


	14. Chapter 14

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: As things slowly begin to get better, other things get worse!!!!! Review folks! You know it keeps me going! lol**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

Cadmen frowned, noticing how strange Will was behaving. She knew she wasn't the only one either. Will Parker was normally a cheerful man, always patient and mild. He was the kind of man that wanted to do everything right, sometimes this was a good thing, sometimes it wasn't. His downfall was his obsession with making things perfect, and when they weren't, it was as if his dog had just died. "Okay! That's it! I can't take anymore! Smile damn it or I'll force you to watch an entire day of Monty Python!"

Will looked up from his breakfast. "Huh?" She knew he wasn't playing stupid; he obviously had something on his mind.

"Spill it," she ordered, folding her arms.

Doctor Parker shook his head, rolling his eyes as he poked his eggs. "What the heck you talkin' bout now, Laura?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you've been moping for days now! And may I just say it's starting to depress me, so spill it! Come on, out with it!"

Will sighed, drinking a bit of his juice before looking up at her again. "I just have a lot on my mind, that's all. I guess I'm just going over everything that's happened these past few weeks."

Cadman sighed, knowing Will was thinking about Elizabeth. The man had been love struck since the moment he'd met her. Most of Atlantis had been sure the two were meant to be. Laura had known better. She'd been there, remembered when John had been on Atlantis back when she'd been dating Carson. People had been whistling a very different tune back then. "Carson told me Elizabeth finally told Emily about her father. How's that going?"

Will shrugged. "Elizabeth said she took it well, but I think the kid's a little uneasy about the whole thing. She does want to see him though. They have a lot of catching up to do."

"And how are things with you and Elizabeth?" Laura finally asked.

Parker looked back down at his meal. "Ah well, you know what they say… early bird get's the worm."

Laura raised an eyebrow at him. He's finally gone insane… she knew it had to happen sometime. Atlantis had a reputation after all. The man was talking in a code Laura didn't know and it was starting to annoy her. "And what exactly does that have to do with you and Elizabeth?"

Will smiled, though she could tell he was simply putting up a front. Finally he grabbed his plate and stood up. "Ask me again tomorrow morning," he told her before leaving her to her breakfast alone.

Laura watched him throw away his food and leave, frowning. Yup, he'd truly lost it.

* * *

She was beautiful, more beautiful than he could ever describe. Her green eyes, her long curly hair, that smile that could brighten every room in Atlantis… to him she was the definition of beauty. The thing was… he'd fallen even more in love with her the moment he'd learned of all the things that made her tick. She was strong, but confident enough not to hide her weaknesses in front of those she trusted most. She was smart, but she refused to rub it in other people's faces. She was kind… because she wanted to be kind, and not because she wanted to impress others. She was funny and always seemed to bring her humorous side out when the time was right. She was loving… especially where her daughter was concerned. It was her qualities that had pushed him over the edge, and he hadn't been able to get back since.

Will took in a deep breath, walking up the steps to her office. He tried to keep a smile on his face when he knocked on her office door, entering just as soon as she waved him in. His heart jumped when she smiled brightly at him, the weeks before washed away with the good news of Emily and John's recovery. "Hey… how's work?"

Will smiled back, walking over to sit on her desk. "Fine, you?"

"Annoying, I have enough reports to fill Mount Everest."

"Well, you have had a busy few weeks. Think you could use a quick break?"

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at his question. "Sure, where we going?"

"Just to the balcony… there's something I want to talk to you about."

"I guess that's fine… as long as it won't take too long. I wasn't lying about how many reports I have to go over."

Will's smile faded some, but not completely. "It won't take long."

* * *

It wasn't until lunch time that Laura Cadman finally realized the meaning behind Will's words earlier in the day.

"_And how are things with you and Elizabeth?"_

"_Ah well, you know what they say… early bird get's the worm."_

"_And what exactly does that have to do with you and Elizabeth?"_

"_Ask me again tomorrow morning."_

"Oh shit," she cursed under her breath.

"What?" Carson asked, looking up from his lunch, a worried look on his face.

"I think we need to find Will."

"Why?"

Laura rolled her eyes, standing up quickly, grabbing Carson's hand as she rushed towards the exit. "I have a bad feeling Will's about to do something stupid!"

* * *

Will stared down at Atlantis as he stood on the balcony next to Elizabeth. "Will?" she asked, hoping to snap him out of his thoughts.

Will looked over at her, smiling warmly as the sun seemed to lighten up her face. "How's Emily?" he asked.

Elizabeth sighed. "She's okay. She's getting a little antsy being stuck in bed, but Carson won't let her leave the bed until he's absolutely certain she's okay. I think the over-protectiveness in him is taking over."

"Somehow I wouldn't be surprised," he said, chuckling. "Beckett says Colonel Sheppard's been just as antsy."

"That settles it… she's definitely his," she muttered in amusement.

Will grinned. "And you're just figuring that out?" he teased.

Elizabeth nudged him. "What can I say? I'm slow," she joked.

Suddenly Doctor Parker became very serious as he looked into her eyes. "Somehow I doubt that," he whispered to her.

Elizabeth blushed, resting her head on his shoulder. "Will… what did you want to talk about?"

Will sighed, suddenly looking rather sad. "I've been thinking…."

"Uh oh," she teased.

"Elizabeth… I'm being serious."

"Okay, okay… I'm sorry. Continue."

Will frowned, moving away a bit, her head slipping from his shoulder, making Elizabeth frown. "Elizabeth, I think maybe we should take a break."

"A break?" she asked in surprise.

Will ran a hand through his hair, his heart breaking as he looked into her eyes. "It's just that… with Colonel Sheppard back on Atlantis… I think maybe you need time… to figure out what you want."

"Will, John and I are never going to be together. We were never meant to be."

"You said it yourself! You love him."

"He's the father of my child! Of course I do, but that doesn't mean we belong with one another. I'm with you Will! I love you, and just because John is back does not mean we need to take a step back. I don't need to figure anything out, I already know what I want, and that's you."

"Elizabeth, please don't make this any harder than it already is. John is Emily's father!"

"And what's that to me?! Family's don't just have to consist of a Father, Mother, and child. Things are different now. You're Emily's father too, Will, just because John's back doesn't mean that's changed. Every time I visit that child she asks about you! She looks up to you! You have no idea how much she loves you… just as I love you!"

"I love you too, Elizabeth, but-"

"But what? If you really love me you wouldn't be talking like this! If you loved me you wouldn't give a damn about John. You'd be there for me and Emily just as you have been since the moment you knew I was pregnant. Do you have any idea how important you've become to the two of us. Even my Mother loves you!"

Will almost smiled at that. "Elizabeth, I love you and Emily with all my heart, but I knew this is the right thing to do. My gut is telling me that this is the way to go, and I have to trust it. It's never failed me before, and I don't think it's failing me now. Just because I want to break up does not mean I'll stop being there for you and Emily. I want to be there, I always have. Emily is amazing… just like her Mother. I will always love you… both of you, but I know this is the right thing to do. You can't lie to me, Elizabeth. I know you and John have a past, a past that cannot be ignored. You love him for a reason."

"He's with Teyla," she fought.

"Elizabeth, whether you believe it or not, fate is real. We all have a destiny… and as hard as it is for me, I think you're destiny lies with him."

"I make my own destiny."

Will stared down at her, seeing the determination in her eyes, sensing her frustration. He was abandoning the most unique person he's ever been with, and it was tearing him apart, but he knew it was for the best. Elizabeth would never love him the way she loved John. Will and Elizabeth made the perfect couple, and that was just the trouble… it was too perfect. It wasn't real, not like the relationship she had with John. Life was no fairytale. Perhaps if it was Elizabeth's prince charming would be named William Parker, but this was real life, and in real life, fairytales could not survive. It wasn't meant to be, no matter how great it had been. Will walked over to her, gently and lovingly he kissed her forehead. "I'll always love you, Elizabeth, and I promise you I will always be there when you need me. I could never leave you, you mean too much to me, but this is how it has to be… even if leaving you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Life is not a fairytale, and I am not you're prince. You and John… you're real," he whispered to her before he turned away and walked inside, leaving Elizabeth devastated and in shock.

"Will!" Laura called, running to him, an out of breath Doctor standing behind her. "Please tell me you didn't!"

"I had to Laura. We were never meant to be," he told her, trying hard to keep control.

"You idiot! Will, you can't do this! You love her! You two belong together!" she fought.

"If only Laura… if only," he muttered, walking past her.

Carson frowned. "Oh bloody hell," he mumbled in surprise, not believing what had just happen.

"You took the words right outta my mouth, Carson," Laura muttered, watching Elizabeth walk back inside, her eyes betraying the calm front Elizabeth had made for herself.

TBC….

A/N: Well, Will and Elizabeth have broken up, but will Elizabeth and John ever get the message? More is on the way, but first you must review! Lol ;)


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: I know I didn't have much John and Elizabeth in the last one, so consider this my way of making it up to you guys! Lol ;)**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

A day passed on Atlantis and everyone knew something was wrong. Will Parker had practically locked the door to his office, working almost nonstop. The same went for Elizabeth who was working hard to look through all the reports she'd missed while her daughter's life had been in danger. Of course she did visit Emily and Sheppard regularly to see how they were doing. Either way, moral between the two was bad, and everyone in the city noticed, which wasn't exactly improving their own moral to see these turn of events without knowing what happened between Atlantis' favorite couple. Sadly, there were two people who did know what had happened, though neither were willing to give up their knowledge, still confused themselves as to why Will had done what he did.

Carson had an idea, though he was exactly excited by it. He'd seen the chemistry between Elizabeth and John all those years ago just like everyone else, and thanks to his close friendship with both of them he'd been privy to quite a bit during that time. The memory that was strongest in his thoughts was of the moment when Elizabeth and John's bodies had been controlled by aliens. Elizabeth's little 'friend' had been lying of her connection with the other body, claiming he was her husband, and when they'd given the alien assess to John's own body, she'd been quick to keep up with her story, even kissing him to his surprise, not that it hadn't been pleasant. They'd looked good together; there was no doubt about it, even if at the time they had been controlled by aliens.

The Doctor walked out of his office to check on Sheppard, knowing the man was growing tired for infirmary walls. "Colonel Sheppard, and how are you doing today?"

"For the hundredth time, I am fine," he answered in annoyance as he played a game of chess on the lap top in front of him.

"You know Colonel, you really should lose the attitude, especially considering the news I was just about to give you," he teased.

"I'm getting out of here?!" John asked eagerly.

Carson rolled his eyes. "Not quite yet, but there is one person I think would enjoy a visit from you, so I figured you might enjoy a change. I know you two haven't exactly been able to see each other after you became aware of her connection to you being that she was in a coma."

John frowned for a second before a grin appeared on his face, looking more excited than Carson had ever seen him. "Thanks Carson," he whispered.

Beckett smiled. "It's the least I could do; I'll get your wheel chair."

* * *

When Elizabeth walked into the infirmary, she wasn't sure how to react to the scene before her. John and Emily were talking as if they'd known each other forever. She could see how happy they both looked as Sheppard told his daughter all about Atlantis before she'd been born. "So then Rodney kisses him!"

Emily made a face. "Gross!"

John shrugged. "Well he wasn't exactly in control. Laura Cadmen technically kissed Carson; unfortunately it was Rodney's body."

Emily laughed.

"You know if Rodney finds out you told her that, he'll kill you," Elizabeth warned as she walked over toward them.

John grinned. "Oh yeah, because we all know how scary Rodney is with a gun. My years and years of experience with a P-90 is no match for his sharp aim. Oh yeah, I'm absolutely terrified."

"Point taken," Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.

Emily looked over at her Mother. "Hi Mommy!"

"Hey sweetheart, I see you finally got Carson to let you're Dad here visit you."

"I used the puppy dog look, you know, the one I use on Will when he has to go to Earth so he'll bring me back something," she explained as if it was nothing.

Elizabeth forced out a smile. "Lethal," she joked.

"It was necessary," said Emily with a smile, stumbling only a bit on the long word. Living in a city filled with genius' had for sure improved her daughter's vocabulary. "Where is Will, he hasn't visited me all day yesterday or today!"

Elizabeth frowned. "Uh… he… Will's been pretty busy, honey. I'm sure he'll come see you soon. He asked all about you yesterday, and he told me to tell you he loves you."

Emily seemed pleased as she smiled brightly before looking over at John. Sheppard didn't seem as pleased as he noticed the awkwardness in her voice. He could tell something was wrong. Damn, she never had been good at hiding things from him. She was about to ask John yet another question when Carson walked over to them. "Alright guys, time to end this visit, I need to run some tests." Finally he looked over and noticed Elizabeth. " Oh! Elizabeth… hi!"

"Hello Carson," Elizabeth greeted.

"Well, Em, guess I'll see you later!"

Emily grinned. "Okay, to tell me more stories about Rodney!"

"Absolutely, I haven't told you yet about the time Rod, a Rodney McKay from this alternate universe came to Atlantis!"

Emily's eyes widened. "Alter-wha?"

"Alternate, honey. I'll explain what it means later," Elizabeth cut in. Even with her improved vocabulary she was still only six. "But for now, you're Daddy has to get back to his bed." Elizabeth then looked up at Carson. "I'll go ahead and take him back while you run you're tests on Emily. Just let me know when you're done."

"Of course," Beckett agreed, smiling as he watched Doctor Weir push John's wheelchair.

"Okay, spill it," he told her once they'd reached his bed.

"I don't know what you're talking about John," she immediately said out of habit.

John rolled his eyes, standing up and getting into the bed with ease. He immediately sat up and patted the space next to him in bed. Although he'd missed so much time when he'd been thrown into enslavement, John had refused to let that ruin their relationship completely, especially once he'd learned they shared a child together. Elizabeth slowly sat in bed beside him, her legs over the covers along with his. "Even a blind person could see something's bothering you Elizabeth, so just tell me. What's wrong?"

Elizabeth frowned, unsure how to say it. Will Parker had been a big part of her life for so long, especially with John gone. Elizabeth had always been comfortable sharing her feelings with John, knowing he'd be there for her. He'd never let her down either. When John had been captured it was almost as if Will had taken John's place. He'd been her sounding board, her support, and now it seemed like everything she leaned on was gone. Her support had left her when she needed him most, and she didn't know what to do anymore. "It's Will," she finally got out, saying nothing more as she struggled against her pain at their argument.

"What about him? Did something happen between the two of you?" John pushed cautiously.

She wasn't going to cry. She couldn't let herself cry in front of John. She was the leader of a city, THE city, and she would not show weakness. "We're over. He doesn't want to be with me," she whispered, looking away in shame.

"What? Why? What did he say?" John asked, looking almost shocked at her news.

Elizabeth sighed, trying to find the right words without complicating things between her and John. Will had been right. She did love John, she supposed she always would. He was the father of her child, without John she'd never have had Emily, and Emily truly was the most important thing in her life. Emily WAS her life. She loved that child with everything she had, something she'd never expected when Carson told her she was pregnant. Suddenly almost every priority had changed, her life had changed. "He's known for some time what happened between us before you left on that damn mission. That night… what we did, I've never regretted it, especially since if not for that day I'd never have had Emily. You gave me that… gave me her and I've loved you for it ever since. Will asked me if I loved you… I couldn't lie to him. Even though it was only one night… and now since you know about her… he thinks we should explore those feelings. I tried to tell him you and I weren't meant to be, that I wanted to be with him, but he wouldn't listen! The idiot actually thinks you and I might have a future together! I mean, you're with Teyla! And I do love Will, I've relied on him for so long. After you disappeared, and then after Jonathan died… he was really all I had. No one else knew how to handle it all. I needed him and he was there. And Emily… she loves him so much. He's really been like a father to her. I know he loves her, and I understand he's just trying to do what's best for Emily, he wants her to have a united family, but it's not gonna happen!" Elizabeth took a breath tucking a curl behind her ear as she looked up at him.

John stared at her for some time before finally smiling. "You love me?"

"John!"

John just laughed, knowing if he took it any further she'd get him back. "Don't worry, Elizabeth. Maybe if I talk to him, it'll make him understand. I mean, I love Emily, but there have been plenty who've raised kids bounced between two parents, and they've turned out fine!"

"That's what I tried to tell him!"

"I'll talk to him, I promise."

Elizabeth sighed. "I don't think it'll make much difference, John. Will can be a very stubborn man. He thinks this is the right thing to do."

John could see how upset she was, and almost felt like punching the guy out for doing it to her. Great guy or not, Will had hurt Elizabeth, and in John's book, that was a crime punishable by a serious tongue lashing, followed by at least one punch, of course he doubted Elizabeth would be very happy if he acted on the last part. He'd have to settle for telling Will Parker off and hope for the best. John wasn't sure he could stand seeing Elizabeth in such distress, especially so soon after Emily's brush with death. He would talk to Will, if it was the last thing he did.

John and Elizabeth had finally begun to build up their relationship to what it had been all those years ago. They had a child together. He had Teyla. Everything was working out. He couldn't let Will make such a terrible mistake. Elizabeth loved him, and John knew Will loved her. Things were finally working out… he wouldn't let things spiral this time. Not when everyone's lives were finally back on track.

* * *

She was sleeping when he finally got the chance to see her, although he wasn't really all that surprised considering it was midnight. Will smiled, brushing a stray curl from little Emily's face as she slept on the infirmary bed, a strange red dog in her arms. Suddenly she began to groan, and opened her eyes barely to look at him. "Will?" she whispered, half awake.

"Shhhhh go to sleep jelly bean. You need you're rest if I'm ever gonna get you outta here," he told her, kissing her forehead tenderly.

Emily smiled sleepily. "Love you."

"Love you too," he said, and he meant it… he always had. "Sweet dreams."

And suddenly she was asleep once more.

"She really looks up to you."

Will jumped, turning to see Colonel Sheppard standing nearby in the room. "Hasn't anyone ever told you it's wrong to sneak up on people?" he asked.

"No… what are you doing here so late?" John asked, arms folded, giving nothing away.

Will shifted uncomfortably. "Elizabeth told you… didn't she?"

"Why'd you break up with her, Will?"

He certainly didn't pull punches. "She still loves you, John."

"Bull, I'll admit we had something special, but that died a long time ago. Emily's the only thing that ties me to Elizabeth."

Will frowned. "I've seen Teyla come in here to visit you. I've watched how you two interact. You don't love Teyla, not the way you love Elizabeth. I'm not blind, John. I knew from the beginning that it might come to this. From the moment I met her… it was always you. When you were kidnapped it almost killed her. She wasn't sure she could do it without you. You weren't just friends. You still love her."

Sheppard sighed, closing his eyes for a couple seconds. "We've known each other two seconds and you already think you know me?" John asked, his voice betraying his annoyance.

Will shook his head. "You and Elizabeth got into a fight a couple days ago, before everything happened with Emily. That night she came to me. She fell asleep… she dreamed of you, John. You just don't get it, Colonel. We only have one life, deny the truth and you'll never be happy. Everyone has their share of regrets, don't let Elizabeth be one of them."

"She loves you," John protested.

"She loves you more!" Will fought back. "That's the problem, John. She'll always love you. I always thought the years I spent trying to get close to her, that I was just breaking down her defenses, but I was wrong. The closer I got… the more of you she let go. The only thing she couldn't let go of was the last tie she had to you… Emily. I can never be to Elizabeth what you were to her. You two are fated for each other, John!"

"Will-"

"No!" Will interrupted. "Spend time with Teyla, then spend some time with Elizabeth and you'll see the difference. You had Teyla when you needed her, but you know deep down that you don't need her anymore. Not when you have Elizabeth back. Believe me, John, every bone in my body would just love to believe I'm seeing things, but I'm not. I won't stand in the way of something that would be good for Elizabeth and Emily. I love them too much to stand in the way. Lie all you want about you're feelings, but at the end of the day you can't lie to yourself, even if it seems like you can. You know the truth… you're just too afraid to admit it. You still love her, and what scares you the most is the fact that she so obviously loves you back." Will finally closed his mouth, staring at John for a few seconds before finally turning away and walking out of the infirmary leaving Sheppard more confused than he'd ever been. Will knew why he was confused… he'd seen the look of realization on his face. John knew Will was right… he couldn't deny that anymore.

TBC

A/N: Only a few more chapters left! Has Will finally talked some sense into John? The next chapter should be out soon! But you gotta review!!!!!!!!!


	16. Chapter 16

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Will's finally knocked some sense into John, but can John do the same with Elizabeth? Just two chapters left!!!!!!**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

He'd spent the rest of the night sitting beside Emily's bed, watching her sleep. He'd missed so much of her life. Missed her birth, her first steps, her first word, birthdays. He'd missed everything, yet here she was, and he had the opportunity to make up for all that. John knew he could never get those years back, the ones stolen from him the moment he was enslaved, but he could be there for all the years to come. What bothered him was whether he could even be sure of that. He and Elizabeth weren't together. And they'd said nothing of how they were going to 'share' Emily. Would she spend a few nights with him, then a few nights with Elizabeth? Was that even fair to Emily? They'd be throwing her back and forth like a rag doll, and the image left an unsavory aftertaste in his mouth.

Maybe the answers he needed were right in front of him. He needed to know a few things, and there was only one person who could give the answers he was seeking. Gently he nudged his daughter, pulling her from her dreams. Emily yawned, slowly opening her eyes and looking at him. She immediately smiled. "Hey Daddy… is it morning yet?"

"Just about sweet heart… I just needed to wake you to ask you a few things," he explained.

Slowly Emily turned on her back and sat up, giving him her full attention while fighting off the fog having just woken up. "What you wanna know Daddy?"

John smiled. Daddy… he'd never get tired of hearing her say that. "Do you think your Mom's happy?" He supposed asking a six year old such a question wasn't exactly his best idea, but he needed to hear it from her.

Emily shrugged. "I guess so… but I think she's happier now that you're back! She missed you."

Sheppard frowned. He couldn't imagine how hard it must have been to know he was gone, then to learn she'd be having HIS child… children. It must have been heart breaking, to know your child might never know their father. "And you… were you happy?"

Emily paused for a second. "Yeah, but I'm glad you're here now. It's nice having a real Dad. Will was a pretty good one, but Mommy says there's nothing like the real thing," Emily told him, making him chuckle.

He hesitated on his last question, unsure whether it might upset her to ask. Still, he needed to know. "Emily… you're friends… on the mainland, most of them have Mommies and Daddies that live together as a family. And then the children are raised by them. Did you… did you ever wish you had that?"

He knew immediately what her answer would be; he could see it in her eyes, see the sadness there. "I guess… but Mommy says I'm lucky. I've got my Grandma, uncles who love me; Will… and now I have you. Sometimes we don't get what we want, but we do get what we need." She was wise beyond her years, but he could tell along with such wisdom she'd lost bits of her innocence. It wasn't fair to her, and the fact that she'd had to live that way made his heart ache.

John blinked back the tears, pulling his daughter into a hug, holding her as tight as he could. "You know I love you don't you?"

"I know Daddy."

"And I'll always be there for you, sweet heart. I've missed too much already." Finally he let go of her and kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep. You need you're rest."

"What about you Daddy?"

John just smiled. "Don't worry about me, just sleep. I'll see you in the morning," he promised and watched her lay back down, closing her eyes to sleep.

Just as he was about to leave Emily opened her eyes. "Daddy?"

John froze, looking back down at his daughter. "Yeah baby?"

Emily frowned. "Are you happy?"

She was a child, a little girl, but she'd never know how much the question had shaken him. Was he? Could he really say he was happy? He knew he had been once… a long time ago. It had only lasted one night, but it had been the happiest night of his life… the night he'd unknowingly made Emily Weir. "I am now… I have a great kid after all," he whispered, kissing Emily's cheek. "Now go to sleep."

Emily nodded before closing her eyes and slowly fell back into her slumber. Then finally he stood and silently left, sneaking past Carson who was sleeping at his desk and walked out of the infirmary.

* * *

He knew he was going to get it the next morning. Carson would kill him if he found out, but John just didn't care anymore. He had to talk to Teyla. Sheppard watched her sleep, thinking back to all the nights they'd sent together in slavery over the years, thinking back to the nights he'd stayed up and watched her sleep, wishing he could give her everything she deserved. He did love her, she was an amazing woman, brilliant, and wise, but he'd never been able to love her the way she should be loved… he'd never really been able to love her with everything he had, with all his heart. She knew that just as well as he had, that no matter what he did he could never love her that way. He'd just never known why… until just recently when a man he'd barely known had somehow figured him out before John had.

Slowly he kissed Teyla's forehead, awakening her from sleep.

"John? What are you doing here? You should be in the infirmary!" she said sleepily.

"Shhhh… it's okay… I'm fine. I just needed to talk to you."

"John, what could you possibly want to discuss at this time of night that couldn't wait until morning?"

John frowned, sitting on the bed, looking away. "Teyla… do you love me?"

"Of course I do," she said.

John shook his head. "No I mean… do you REALLY love me? Am I really the one for you? What if those years we spent together were only made a reality because we were enslaved together? Would we really be here if we hadn't gotten captured?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused.

John sighed. "When we were enslaved… all we had was each other. And it brought us together… what we shared, but what if… what if we were only doing what we needed to do to survive? Would things have turned out like this if we hadn't been taken?"

Teyla paused. "To tell you the truth… I don't really know."

John looked down at her. "I think you do, Teyla. Just… tell me… I need to know the truth. Would we have ended up together if it wasn't for what we went through?" He was begging her now, begging her to let him go, to let him out of the relationship they'd shared. He did love her, but he knew now that it wasn't enough. He needed more. He wanted a family… he wanted Elizabeth.

Teyla frowned, suddenly understanding. "I'm… not sure," she whispered sadly. "But with the child you share with Elizabeth, I do not believe so," Teyla finally told him.

John nodded. "She needs me, Teyla… they both do. And I'm starting to realize… that I need them too. Both of them. I've never had a real family before… this is my chance. I lived in a broken home. My father left when I was little… my mom worked all day and some nights. I practically raised myself. I want Emily to have the father I never had… I want to be there for Elizabeth the way my dad should have been there for my mom. I want her to have a family, Teyla. And truth be told, I want to support Elizabeth, to raise Emily with her. I don't want to take turns. I want a family."

"I understand, John. You… love Elizabeth. And you love Emily."

John closed his eyes, looking away. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be… I knew… when I learned we would be returning home I knew," Teyla whispered, resting a hand on John's shoulders. "Go…."

John opened his eyes, surprised by her words. "Teyla I-"

"Go, John. I'll be fine."

Finally John smiled before he pulled her in his arms and kissed her cheek. "I do love you Teyla."

"I know that too."

John's smile grew as he let her go and stood, walking to the door. "Thanks Teyla… for everything."

Teyla nodded, although he could see the sadness in her eyes, he knew she'd be alright. They'd both be alright. "John, leave… and I expect to find you back in the infirmary once you have done what you need to do, is that understood?"

John laughed at that. "Yes ma'am!" he teased, giving her a less than perfect salute.

* * *

He wasn't sure what'd he'd say or do, wasn't even sure if he COULD say what he wanted to say. Elizabeth was a hard woman to figure out. One minute it was as if there were perfect strangers and the next it was as if they were the best of friends. She was a mystery sometimes, one he'd yet to solve. Slowly he stopped at her room, taking in a breath before knocking softly so as not to draw attention. When nothing happened he knocked a little louder until finally he heard fumbling behind the door and a soft, "I'm coming!"

She was beautiful, even so late at night. Her hair was all over the place from sleep, she looked tired, her robe barely covering the nightgown she had underneath. She was absolutely adorable… and he was absolutely in love.

"John?! What the hell are you doing here?! You should be in the infirmary!"

John frowned. "Elizabeth, please, just let me in; I'll go back to the infirmary later."

"No, you'll go now! Carson's probably worried sick!"

"He was asleep last I saw him, Elizabeth."

"I don't care; go back to the infirmary, John! That's an order, you shouldn't be here, we don't even know if you're completely recovered yet!"

"Elizabeth!" he finally shouted, stopping her from saying anything more. "Please, I need to talk to you… now," he told her softly.

Elizabeth frowned, surprised by his tone. "What could you possibly need to talk to me about that made you think you could LEAVE the infirmary at these late hours?"

John sighed, not exactly sure what to say. He knew what he felt, but after what had gone between her and Will, should he really be at her door? Was she still in love with Will? Would she even want anything to do with him? Could she really love him the way he loves her? Sheppard knew he was scared, scared of how she felt, scared of whether she'd turn him down, but he also knew if he went back now he'd regret it for the rest of his life. Taking another breath, he followed his heart and said the first thing that came to his mind. "Elizabeth… I love you."

Elizabeth stared at him, her eyes wide, and her mouth slightly open, as if she'd just gotten electrocuted. It took her a moment to get it together. "Yeah… then I guess we do need to talk," she finally agreed, moving aside to let him in.

John smiled, walking past her, brushing her lightly as he passed. "That's what I said…."

Elizabeth closed the door behind him and took a seat. "What's this really about, John? What do you mean, you love me? Is this about Emily?"

John looked around Elizabeth's room. She was confused, in shock… so was he. There were pictures in her living room… pictures of Emily. One was of Emily on Will's back, her arms wrapped around him, laughing as he took her for a ride. Another was of Ronan and Rodney on the beach. Rodney had a black shirt and black and yellow happy face swim trunks. His arms were folded as he glared at Ronan. Ronan had his own swim trunks, but his were red and he was purposely showing off his muscles, making a pose. The last was a picture of an older woman and a young man, with Emily in between them, her arms around them both. He could only see their faces, but they were all smiling. "Who's that?"

"My mother and my nephew," Elizabeth whispered, looking down.

"I didn't know you had a nephew."

"My older brother died in a car accident ten years ago. His wife and his son took it hard, but they got through. They live in Washington D. C. now near my mom. That was taken a year ago at my nephew's birthday party. He's turning twenty-one in a few months."

John knew he was stalling. He also knew she knew he was stalling, but she'd let it go, waiting from him to get himself together. Finally he took a seat on the couch where she sat, looking straight ahead, sighing.

"You never answered my question… is this about Emily?"

John shook his head.

"Then what is it about?"

"You," he whispered, looking up to meet her gaze. "I don't want us to have a load of regrets when Emily's grown up. I don't want to pass her back and forth between us like a tennis ball. And I don't want to keep ignoring that night before I was kidnapped. I do love you Elizabeth. I've loved you ever since that night… maybe even before it."

"What about Teyla?" she asked softly.

John shook his head. "We both knew it wasn't meant to be. It was just so easy to break it off… easier than it ever should have been. It was never that easy being away from you for so long. No more regrets Elizabeth… I'm done with it. For once it's time for us to do something right… we did it once when we made Emily… why can't it be like that again?"

He waited for her to answer his question; he could see the conflict in her eyes. "I can't."

"You can't or you won't?"

"How can you be so sure that we're meant to be together? How can you possibly be that sure-"

John didn't let her finish, he gently took her face in his hands and rested his lips on hers, kissing her with every bone in his body, telling her what words could never say, giving up himself. When finally they needed air he pulled away, his eyes holding her own. "That's how," he whispered to her.

This was it. She would either push him away, or give him a chance. She didn't speak, just stared at him as he let her go, still holding her gaze, his eyes pleading for her to give him something… some kind of answer.

Finally she gave him an answer, but he wasn't prepared at all. "I love you too, John."

To Be Continued….

A/N: Just two more chapters left!!!!!! Let me know what you thought! At least I didn't give you the cliffhanger I was planning on giving you! Be very happy!!!!!!! And please review:D You know you wanna!!!!!!


	17. Chapter 17

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Elizabeth has a big surprise for John while Will begins the first step toward getting over Elizabeth.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

It was strange how right it felt to have Elizabeth back in his arms. He'd never felt so at peace with Teyla, even if he had loved her. Elizabeth's head rested on his chest as they sat together on the couch, talking about everything and anything. They both had a lot to catch up with, after all, they had been away from each other for a couple years. Elizabeth spoke of Emily and Will, as well as a few funny stories about McKay. John talked about life as a slave, as well as his good friend, who'd helped protect him… Vallen. He talked about all the times he'd gotten in trouble for one thing or another, and how many times Teyla and Vallen had tried to get him out of trouble. He talked about life on Earth, his parents, his ex-wife, everything. They'd talked all night, and John knew part of the morning, thankfully both of them were off, since he was supposed to be in the infirmary and Elizabeth was taking off to care for Emily.

John stared down at the floor, knowing he would have to leave. Carson was probably already awake and panicking. He was sure he was in for a major tongue lashing and who knew what else. He lovingly kissed Elizabeth's forehead. "Carson's gonna kill me."

Elizabeth smiled. "You were the one who couldn't wait."

"And have everyone in the infirmary see you and me make out? I don't think so."

"We have a daughter together, John, I really don't think it'll be that much of a shock."

John shrugged. "Well, you were with Will, and I'm supposed to be with Teyla, so I think it might still be a surprise, besides, what if you'd have said 'no'? Then I'd have a whole crowd see me get kicked to the curb."

Elizabeth laughed at that. "I think your ego could handle that."

John grinned at that, before sighing as he thought of the time. "I should go."

Elizabeth paused for a long time; he knew she didn't want him to go. "Yeah… you probably should."

"I'm sure Carson won't hold me in there too much longer, as soon as I get out we'll all have dinner, the three of us. It'll be great."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he whispered to her, kissing her lips once more as he slowly moved beside her. "I love you."

Elizabeth smiled, watching him run to the door, ready to let him go when they both heard the siren used when there was an incoming wormhole. "John, I think you should come with me."

"Elizabeth, I have to get back to Carson, as it is you know he's gonna kill me."

Elizabeth got up and ran towards the door. "Believe me, you'll wanna see this."

John wasn't sure what she was keeping from him, but he knew it had to be big if she was grinning. They were heading to the gateroom, but John had no clue what was happening. "Elizabeth, what's this all about?"

Elizabeth didn't speak, just pulled him along as they hurried toward the transporter that would take them to the gateroom. John sighed, following behind her as they entered the transporter. Minutes later they exited and John froze, completely shocked at the sight before him.

"John… I never thought I'd see you again!"

John looked at Elizabeth, as if to ask her if it was real. When she gave him a nod, he immediately grinned and ran over to his friend, grabbing him and pulling him into a hug as they laughed. "Vallen, don't tell me Sorne finally kicked you out!"

Vallen just grinned as they pulled apart. "Your friends came back to trade with Sorne for my freedom. The device you traded with him failed, so Doctor McKay traded his services for my release. Sorne agreed."

John looked over as Colonel Lorne, McKay, and two Captains walked over to him. McKay of course was the first to explain. "Of course we didn't actually fix it, just made him think we did… he really isn't all the bright when you think about it. Doctor Weir gave the order for us to trade with Sorne to save your friend here, and we shipped out early this morning. You know it's just amazing how brilliant I can be when it comes to helping out a friend, I mean the fate of the world… that's my weekend, but it's not often that I can save a life to help a friend," Mckay went on.

John rolled his eyes. "Is he always like this?" Vallen asked.

"Worse," Elizabeth told him, glaring at Rodney.

John turned to look at her, a look of wonder he was sure was in his eyes. "I can't believe you did this for me."

Elizabeth just blushed. "You wanted to save him… I knew he was important to you."

John walked over to her. "Still, thank you," he whispered before kissing her, completely ignoring the blank stares from everyone in the gateroom. He was sure Elizabeth would kill him later, but he also knew it was worth it.

"I leave for a couple of hours and the whole place goes wacko," McKay complained.

* * *

Vallen smiled his eyes bright with wonder as he followed John around Atlantis. "This is your home?"

"Yup," John told him, beaming with pride.

"Now I understand why you fought so hard to return here! This place… it is amazing!"

John smiled, stopping once he reached his quarters. Carson was probably gathering a search party by now, but at least Elizabeth had promised to find the good Doctor and explain things. Vallen followed him inside and laughed at the Johnny Cash poster over his bed. "Is this the man you told me about?"

"He played the guitar." John picked up his own guitar and showed it to Vallen.

"Ah, a piece of wood shaped and stringed to make music."

John laughed as his friend played with the guitar, trying to figure out how it worked. "Let me see that… I'll play you something."

Vallen smiled, taking a seat as John thought of a song.

* * *

"I know he's supposed to be in the infirmary, Carson, but he really wanted to spend some time with Vallen."

"He can do that in the infirmary!"

Elizabeth sighed. This was going to take time. "Carson, I promise you, he will be back and do whatever you ask, he says he feels fine."

Carson folded his arms, glaring at her. "And if something goes wrong? What then? Look Elizabeth, I know you care about the Colonel, but a couple days ago he was practically on his death bed if not for the creature he was able to capture. He needs someone to watch him. That was an alien creature on an alien planet. I have to be cautious."

Elizabeth frowned, knowing Carson was right. "I'll watch him."

Carson raised an eyebrow at that suddenly realizing something he hadn't noticed before. "Are you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?"

"Carson!"

"I spoke with Emily… apparently he had a little chat with her last night before he left… where exactly did he go last night."

"Carson, I really don't think that's any of your business." She knew he would see through it, but as far as she was concerned it was worth a try.

Doctor Beckett paused for a second before a smile appeared on his lips. "Well, if you're sure it won't be a bother watching him… I suppose I can leave him in your care."

Elizabeth smiled at that. "Thank you, Carson." Doctor Weir turned to leave.

"Oh and Elizabeth?"

"Yes Carson?" she said turning back around.

"It would probably be best for him if he weren't to… ah… engage in anything too physically vigorous for at least a week… just in case."

Elizabeth glared at him. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I'm sure you will!"

* * *

He wasn't exactly sure why he was at her door. He wasn't sure about anything anymore though, so what did it really matter? Will shook his head, raising his hand to knock. He should be at her door, he knows it, he should be working, but he's taking a break, he needs one bad. When no one comes to the door he knocks again, trying to be patient.

"Alright! Alright! I'm coming! Keep your shirt on!" she shouted from the other side of the door.

Will smiled.

Finally the door opened. "Will? What are you doing here?" Laura Cadmen asked.

Will sighed. "I… uh… thought maybe we could get lunch."

Laura smiled at that, pushing him away from the door before walking out herself and closing the door. "Come on… I hear they have chocolate cake for dessert… I think this is a good day for chocolate."

Will grinned. "You may be right about that one."

* * *

Will rolled his eyes as Laura laughed, taking a sip of her drink. "Funny," he muttered.

"Oh come on, Will, every one looks dumb at one time or another," she told him.

Will shook his head smiling when he noticed two others enter the cafeteria, then immediately looked away.

Laura frowned, turning around to see John Sheppard and a stranger grab food. "I thought he was supposed to be in the infirmary."

"Carson must have let him go," Will said looking down.

Laura sighed. "He's a good guy."

"Yeah."

"He really cares about Emily… and Elizabeth."

"I know."

Laura knew he was shutting down… Will always did when he was upset. "You know… when I first met you… you reminded me of the Colonel."

"Really?"

"Are you kidding me? You two would probably have become best friends if Sheppard hadn't gotten kidnapped. He's a good guy, and I'm proud of you," Cadmen told him, resting a hand on his.

Will smiled. "Who knows, maybe one day we could be friends. Either way, Elizabeth loves him. He makes her happy. He makes Emily happy. That's what matters."

Laura nodded. "I know… you sure you don't have any brothers?"

Will laughed, shaking his head. "Just sisters… but if you want I could set you up with a cousin of mine."

Laura grinned. "No thanks… you've told me about Jeff, anytime you hear that someone has a great personality, it always means their accounting for being ugly."

Will chuckled at that, rolling his eyes. "Why do I bother!"

* * *

"Where's Dad? He hasn't been here all day," Emily complained as Carson tried to tuck her in.

"Emily, how many times do I have to tell you that I sent him away? He's being looked after, that's all you need to know."

"But, where is he?"

Carson smiled, sighing. She was just as stubborn as her parents, she'd never give up. "Your mother is looking after him."

That got Emily's attention. "Really?"

"That's right. Now will you go to bed?"

Emily smiled, no longer struggling. "Cool," she whispered.

Carson laughed at that, tucking her in. "What's cool?" he asked in amusement.

Emily just shook her head, closing her eyes. "Nothing… good night Uncle Carson."

Carson shook his head. "Good night sweet heart…."

* * *

He had to admit, he was impressed. It was true, Carson had yelled at him, but for Beckett to let him go as he had was absolutely amazing. She was amazing, and John was seriously impressed. "Have I told you how amazing you are?" John asked as he fixed up the couch. Although technically they were in a relationship, he knew it was best to go a little slower than last time… especially since last time they just had sex, had a kid, and completely screwed up their relationship. He wasn't about to make the same mistake.

Elizabeth smiled, folding Emily's clothes to put in her room. John still couldn't get over the little differences in Elizabeth. It was strange, seeing Elizabeth do something as simple as folding clothes; it just wasn't what he was used to. Of course he was sure the old Elizabeth folded her clothes, especially since she'd always been a neat and tidy person, but he was used to seeing Elizabeth reading reports, giving him orders, and defusing dangerous negotiations. That was the Elizabeth he'd known, now he was seeing a whole different side, and although he knew he shouldn't be surprised to see her folding her daughter… their daughter's clothes, he was. Elizabeth smiled, looking up briefly. "Yes… five minutes ago, and then a few minutes after that… but feel free to continue," she joked.

John smiled, smoothing out the sheet before walking over to her. He stared at her for a second before picking up a small T-shirt. Gently he folded it and put it with the pile of other clothes. He continued to help until everything was folded, then looked back at Elizabeth. "Thank you," Sheppard whispered.

Elizabeth shrugged, looking up at him. "It was nothing, Carson may be stubborn, but I'm a negotiator."

John smiled, shaking his head. "That's not what I'm thanking you for."

"Oh?"

Slowly John leaned in and kissed her once more. "Nope."

"Then why are you thanking me?" she asked shyly.

John just shrugged. "Well… there's Vallen, you, and of course Emily… the fact that you saved me from a life of slavery… and did I mention you?"

"You may have," she said, laughing. Slowly she moved up and kissed him back before turning around and heading to her room. "Good night John."

"Good night Elizabeth."

To Be Continued….

A/N: Wow guys, one more chapter! It should be coming soon, I wanna get this done and out to you guys! I can't believe it's almost over! Yay! In the meantime, please review! You know how much I love hearing your reviews!


	18. Chapter 18

_**Sweet Regret**_

**By Andie O'Neill**

**Summary: In a moment of weakness John and Elizabeth find themselves in bed together, but when Sheppard and Teyla must rely on each other for more than six years before escaping slavery, Elizabeth must deal with their romantic relationship while trying to keep a secret from Sheppard that could change everything. (Sparky!)**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Angst (Some humor) **

**A/N: Well guys, it's been fun! I've loved working on this story, but I'm also glad you guys liked it! Hopefully you'll like my ending too! ;) Last chapter guys, enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

"Samuel," Elizabeth began.

"Are you kidding me? What's wrong with Kevin?" John asked.

"Never going to happen."

John rolled his eyes.

"James?" Elizabeth then threw out.

"No, we are not naming our child James… never going to happen. Next you'll be trying to name it Fredrick."

"What's wrong with Fredrick?"

John frowned, staring at her as if she were crazy.

"What?"

"Why not Jason?" John asked, giving her his best puppy dog look.

"I hate that name; we are not naming him that. It reminds me of this idiot jock I went to high school with."

"Okay then… what about Max?"

"Are we naming a baby or a dog?" Elizabeth countered.

"Fine… Max is out, but you can't keep shooting down all my ideas."

Elizabeth sighed, brushing Emily's hair as they both sat on the bed. Meanwhile John was putting on his Air Force blues. "John, this is a big decision, I want us to think it over… he'll have to live with the name we give him for the rest of his life."

Emily frowned. "I have a name you guys might like," she finally offered, tired of watching her parents go back and forth on names.

"Alright honey, go ahead," Emily's mother said.

John turned around, straightening his clothes. "Yeah… as long as it's not Fredrick…."

Emily smiled. "Well…"

* * *

"You're going to be fine," Sheppard assured him as he finished some soda he'd had with him.

Will rolled his eyes, straightening his tie in the mirror. "Somehow I'm not so sure of that! I'm sweating like a pig, I can't get this tie straight, and we have to do this ceremony twice! Once on Atlantis, and then again on Earth."

Lorne laughed at that. "Well it's not like your sisters were going to be allowed on Atlantis…" Colonel Lorne told him.

"Then why couldn't we just have one ceremony on Earth," Will fought.

"Because then most of the people on Atlantis wouldn't be able to see it considering the fact that we still have very important jobs to do," Sheppard told him.

"On my world we didn't have ceremonies… we just claimed each other and moved right to the fun part," Ronan added.

"Now THAT'S what I'd be happy with," said Will smiling.

"Wouldn't everybody," muttered Sheppard before getting up. "Come on guys; let's give Will a minute to calm himself down."

Will gave him a nod of thanks before turning back to the mirror to straighten his tie for the hundredth time while the guys left the room.

"You know… you never were all that great at fixing your tie…" came a voice from behind him.

Will smirked, looking at the person behind him through the mirror. "I could never get it straight… think you could help with that?"

Elizabeth smiled, walking over to Will so she could fix his tie. As always, Elizabeth wasted no time by completely pulling out his own handy work before retying it.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Will told her, looking down at the beautiful women before him in her bright blue dress.

Elizabeth straightened the bow tie before looking up to meet his gaze. "You're marrying your best friend, Will; I'd say you two will do just fine."

"You think?" Over the years since he'd broken up with Elizabeth, their friendship had once again revived. As Elizabeth and John grew serious, so did Will and Laura until their feelings for each other, although running deep, were no more than the feelings shared by family. Will would always love Elizabeth, as well as Emily, but his feelings for Laura were different. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Laura; he wanted to be close friends with Elizabeth. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but he was glad it had. For awhile he'd feared he'd never get the chance to be with someone again after he'd skipped his chance with Elizabeth.

"William, you two were made for each other."

Will smiled. "I know," he whispered, kissing her nose. "You should go; the ceremony will be starting soon.

Elizabeth smiled back at him. "I know, I just thought I'd come speak with you before hand… there's actually something I want to ask you."

"Really?" he asked, curious as to what she would want minutes before he was about to get married.

"Two things actually…."

"Elizabeth, spit it out," he told her before she could ramble. "I do have plans, you know," he teased.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes before a more serious expression took over her face. "First… I was wondering if you'd like to be the godfather of the little one once he's born?" Elizabeth asked, rubbing her protruding belly. She only had a week left before she was supposed to have the child.

Will raised an eyebrow in surprise, but immediately nodded. "Of course! You know I would! I'm honored!"

"That's not all."

After what she'd just asked him, he couldn't imagine what would top the feeling he had at the privilege she wanted to bestow upon him. He was going to be a godfather for pete's sake! "Okay… what else?"

"John and I decided on a name… actually Emily came up with it… I think it would be perfect, but I was kind of hoping to get your opinion."

Ten more minutes before the wedding was to begin. "What's the name you guys picked?"

"William… William Thomas Sheppard… what do you think?"

He was going to cry… he was sure of it. He was in shock, could barely believe his ears. Was Elizabeth actually asking him for permission to name their son after him? He was more than touched, and he was sure he was going to cry over it… which he supposed wasn't all that surprising since Laura already had let him know who wore the pants in their relationship, and since he knew it wouldn't be him, it was only logical that he start acting like he knew. Will smiled, pulling Elizabeth in a loving hug, before saying anything. "I think I'd like that… I think I'd like that very much," he whispered to her.

Elizabeth beamed, nodding. "Good… I'm glad." Finally she took a step back. "Well, I better go… the wedding will be starting soon… good luck Will."

"Hey, who needs luck? I have an amazing family, a beautiful bride, and a kid who's going to be carrying my name; I'd say I've already got all the luck I can handle."

Elizabeth just gave him an amused look before opening the door to leave. "In Atlantis, there's no such thing as having too much luck, Will, believe me!"

Will chuckled. "I do, Elizabeth… I do," he whispered as he watched her leave. Today was a big day. Will turned back to look at himself in the mirror only to groan as he saw that the hug had messed up his tie. He was never going to get it straight in time! "Damn tie!"

* * *

John smiled, kissing the top of his wife's head as they swayed back and forth to the music. "Big day huh?" he finally said.

Elizabeth looked up, smiling back up at him. "Will and Laura… who would have guessed."

"Apparently Rodney did… I owe him twenty bucks."

"I told you not to do it."

Sheppard just rolled his eyes, spinning her slowly before bringing her back to him. "Yes you did-"

"Daddy! Mommy! Daddy!" Emily screamed from her room.

John sighed. "Looks like another bad dream…."

Elizabeth kissed him. "I'll take care of it."

He was a lucky man. He had a wife. A child, with another on the way. He'd never believed all those years ago when he first went through the Stargate that he'd have the family he did. John stopped her just as she was about to leave. "It was worth it… you know… all of it."

Elizabeth frowned. "All of what?"

John just smiled holding her head gently as he kissed her. "Everything… every crappy mission, every scar, every regret… it was worth it," he whispered to her, kissing her once more.

Elizabeth smiled. "Cute, but Emily's probably freaking out, I better go."

John shook his head. "No, let me go."

Elizabeth cocked her head curiously before nodding. "Okay mister, but don't take too long."

"You got it!" he shouted as he left their room and walked into Emily's. "Okay babe, what's up?"

Emily was sitting up in bed, breathing hard. As soon as he walked in she latched on to him.

"Another bad dream?"

Emily just nodded.

John sighed, laying her down in her bed. "How about a story? Think that'll make you feel better?"

Emily nodded again. "Can you tell me the one where Auntie Laura's consciousness got stuck in Uncle Rodney's brain?"

John rolled his eyes. "This is what I get for raising my daughter in a city of scientists! How about this… why don't I tell you a different story?"

"Does it have a Prince in it?"

John smiled. "Actually it does… and a Princess… and a huge castle that floats on the sea… does that sound nice?"

Emily smiled, nodding in delight.

John smirked, crawling into bed with his daughter. His daughter, it never got old. He'd missed six years of her life, but he'd vowed never to miss a moment more… he loved being a father. It was a sweet life… regrets and all. "Okay… well… once upon a time there was this Prince named… Prince John… and he was madly in love with his future bride Princess Elizabeth…."

The End

A/N: I finally did it! It's done! does a little dance Thank you guys soooo much for reading this story! You guys have been absolutely awesome, you kept me going! So thanks!


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